Poor Audrey!

I wish to protest against the unfair treatment that the Haeremai Club has received in connection with the "last" Capping Procession. "Little Audrey Rides Bareback—

But she knows all the tricks!"—

This came from an advertisement in one of our local dailies a few nights ago.

If this was in either the capping book or the procession, everybody in general would say it was pure unadulterated filth.

If it is filth, surely "public opinion" in Wellington would do something about it.

Apparently, however, it is not considered filth, as it is published on the front page of a reputable newspaper.

This is just one more example of how Wellington public opinion has an unreasonable bias against Victoria College in general and particularly the Haeremai Club.

"Laugh it Off."

A Bite.

Once athwart the forum of ancient Rome lay a gaping crevasse, whence issued the noxious vapours of the nether regions.

To-day, across the mental forum of Victoria gapes a pit whence issue turgid vapours as of a cesspool, and rumblings as of swine at pleasure. Students—philosophical souls—pass by this with averted eyes and stoic resignation, but poor unwary freshers, lured to the edge of the pit by fair naiad charmers, find themselves embroiled in this degradation of offensive corruption. Any reader of normal intellect will by now have realised to what I refer, but for the benefit of its literary (?) staff, may I explain that my subject is "Smad."

That "Smad," should insult and dishonour the University by its presence and comment is enough, but that it should cast its lecherous eyes on the fair name of Training College is an outrage. Why should this honoured title be dragged down to be spattered and besmirched in the mire of such a wallow? I refer to the truly "scandalous" write-up of the T.C. Freshers' ball. A report redolent of such over-bearing patronage and petty jealousy should never have been allowed to sully clean paper.

I had intended to criticise "Smad" fur descending to personalities, but maturer consideration has convinced me of the futility of such a course: "Smad" can descend to nothing.

I am, etc.,

The Be Monocled One.

Re Politicians and Primates.

J.N.S. further to his original and enlightening "skeleton" sketch, maintains that he is facing facts.

From his article and reply to J.W.D., we infer that '"guff" which is produced daily is only half the truth: "Cavalcade," by virtue of its being "a complete, brisk, newsmagazine," is a veritable fountain of truth. Moral: "Guff" which is administered in other than daily forms is not to be questioned.

And so J.N.S. armed with "facts" passed on by the grace of monopoly holders whose integrity must not be doubted, has been pleased to pass judgment.

J.N.S. can be excused however, for in circumstances such as those surrounding the abdication, it has always been port and parcel of man's nature to be pleased to imagine that which does not exist. Even the most everyday occurrence gains lustre if flavoured with some hidden and mysterious force—be it politico-gaiters or armament rings. Fantasy must to a certain degree in such matters invade the prose domain of commonsense.

The Politician and the Primate then remain. The facts do not, nor does Edward, but the honours and the honour—who knows?

—R.H.J.

Borax.

I note the following in the previous issue, referring to the V.U.C. versus T.C. debate:—"An excellent debate. The best for years, and well attended."

I can't agree. I don't agree.

It was not excellent, nor even good.

It was not the best for years.

If, however, it was the best for the last six years that would not be saying much—not much at all.

I can't agree it was "well attended." Attended yes, but not well attended. There were a few more there than usual. Yes. But that's not saying much. No.

Nora M. Mclaren.