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The Spike: or, Victoria College Review, October 1908

Answers to Correspondents

page 85

Answers to Correspondents

Sketch of scholars in a row

Adam A., Diabolo, etc.—The Spike holds no dealings with contributors of the "nom de plume" order, not even when they enclose"poems."

M.H. Or-m.—(a) We are really not very experienced in publishing matters, but your business acumen and energy should move anything. Print speech as delivered (sprinkle with numerous expression marks) and call it "Queen Victoria—Selections from Popular Authors." There should be a pot in it, we will review free. (b) We admit it. See (c) of answer below.

Mr. C. P. P-wl-s.—Matter referred to Professor Richmond whose opinion is as follows:—"Private trespassers are trespassers who trespass between the hours of 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. The word "proseceute" is derived from two Arabic words: prosec to be brought before, and eute the beak. No charge made."

R. St. J. Be-re.—You write at unconscionable length, but as your letter has the saving grace of evident sincerity, we shall endeavour to answer in full. (a) There has been a Colonel Rawdon in Vanity Fair before, but that of itself is no argument to support your claim. (b) Highland costume for sure, you will drill only in summer, at least you must not admit otherwise at present juncture. Re tartans—see Professor Adamson. (c) Oram has the ringing tone but not your commanding presence. (d) Yes; insist on salute from members of the Corps, even when in civilian dress; as a matter of courtesy non-members should also salute. (e) Re marching tune—Saw Lankshear; quite useless; he wanted to organise a band and feels very raw. There is a Bacchanalian ditty called "Beer, Beer, glorious Beer" but you are open to misunderstanding if you adopt. (f) If MacDougall tries to "spoil the whole thing" again by whistling martial music at you, and indulging in the other foolish anties you mention, have at him under the Act for "Prevention of Detection of Humbugs." (g) Keep sword out of your legs. Write again soon.

E.W. Ind-r.—We are glad to hear of your intention to take a leading part of College affairs; we always encourage that sort of thing even when it does not benefit the College. It could not further increase your present extreme popularity. Yes, you are quite old enough to go into long trousers; what about a hat?

Editor of Dominion.—If your reporter was there, he has a future before him. Competition is not decided by vote of audience, and the "young orators" are restricted by certain rules in their choice of a subject. We have communicated with Booth, Cromer, and Kitchener, and all three indignantly repudiated any suggestion that they were "men or women of note in history."

page 86

A-th-r Fa-r.—Do fourteen days mean fourteen nights? The experience of all volunteers is that one night equals several days and that the last night in camp equals at least a week. N.B.—The IIIb Hockey Captain promises a report in one day but—cur. adv. vult.

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