Spider's Web

A friend of mine who has long escaped from this institution passes on the following to help alleviate the suffering of all who are still doing time.

'A Panegyric on the Grant Academy of Lagado'
It's the Kelbum canyon of babbling buffoons,
Their heads full of nothing, like bloated ballons
Professor Buboes and hit mob of projecton,
Dilettantes, poseurs, and navel inspectors:
Mickey Mouse social 'scientists' and logicians,
Noddy Philosophen and human technicians,
political 'scientists' join in this farce-
They wouldn't know Truth if it bit them in the.......;
Pongoes, drongoes and tedious old fools-
Unimaginative followers of all the old rules,
Sycophantic students, grovelling a grade
(If you fo low enough, you've got it made):
Packing them in at the old Academy
Teaching Astrology, Geomancy and Alchemy
Learning next to nothing about anything-
A pack of moneys dancing in a ring,
Each patting his fellow-ape on the back,
All dressed in cloaks and leotards of black:
Pedants and chartered scatologists,
Dotards and rat psychologists,
Bubomic merchants and dog dissectors:
Baboons and mental asylum defecton:
Across the quadrangle they dodder-
Senile purveyors of academic bum fodder;
Flautists, bumbailiffs, commercial students
Pretending to knowledge (the impudence),
Morons struggling to write their mother tongue
And producing a heap of ungrammatical dung;
Paid dilettantes of english literature,
Eager consumers of the vilest ordure;
Horrific sounds arise as if from the pit