Hedging on the Bible

Arthur P. Hedgehog (esq.) is an addle-pated oinny! What he fails to realize is that there is a far more logical reason for the absence of the hedgehog's infamous name in the Bible. It is obvious in the extreme that the hedgehog is actually Lucifer, Satan, the Devil, Yog Sathoth (the Goat with a thousand young), or whatever you care to call him.

Again, I quote from Arthur P's own extract: Leviticus ch. 1 vs.2 — "When any man of you brings an offering to the Lord, you shall bring your offering of cattle from the herd or from the flock." The hedgehog is naturally not mentioned here as who the hell (pardon the expression) would offer Lucifer to our Lord?

It is also a well known fact that there are no hedgehogs in Palestine, and naturally so, since it is the Holy Land and the Devil could not possibly cross its borders.

Psalm 23 "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want" refers to the man protecting the flock from, among other things, stepping on sharp-spined hedgehogs!!

In our little part of the world we are faced with an attack by the Powers of Darkness (in the form of the Great Hedgehog) upon our (vaguely) Christian nation. Hedgehogs are invading our roads in ever increasing numbers, causing drivers to swerve (wasting fuel) and probably accounting for a large percentage of the "no-cause" road accidents.

It is my firm belief that this menace to our very souls should be eliminated by mounting special work gangs armed with crosses and blessed machetes to save our children from this monstrous evil!

Instead of the malevolent hedgehog I propose that the Lord is actually the sweet, chaste, and gentle Tuatara, residing exclusively in God-zone naturally.

So you, Arthur P. Hedgehog, you minion of the Forces of Darkness, get you behind me and return from whence you came!

So Q.E.D. to you too Arthur P.