Laughing At Malaysian High Comm. Letter

I was very much fascinated by the interesting factual accounts in the last Salient, Vol. 39, No 14, 5th July 1976, Pg 31. I had been spending sleepless nights trying to figure out where I could get bamboo poles to hung my clothes. I would be very grateful if you give me the location' 'cause this would reduce my electric bill by at least half the amount. But like you, I'm too worried just in case the wind unintentionally steal my rather limited stock.

Now I'm beginning to realise how financially broke I am. I don't seem to be able to afford to cook every hour of the day like what Malaysians are supposed to do. Also I think I'm a poor cook 'cause no matter how hard I try and what recipes I use my cooking smell just doesn't seem to stay for at least 24 hours The only reason I could of is I forgot to Shut my windows..

Thanks very much for the only compliment... 'B.E.A. U.T.J.F.U.L' Malaysia. You lot must be very fast travellers and good observers to make such a rapid conclusion just within a week's stay in 'Beautiful Malaysia' Could I ask you how many states you visited? How many cities and how many streets you screen past? Mind you it's just pure curiosity since I have very limited knowledge of my 'Beautiful Malaysia'.

I'm now very confused as to which is worse to urinate outside pubs and post offices or into rivers and ponds. This is a great problem I need advice. Another secret of mine.... I remember how one early morning I had to go through hours of suffering from an almost bursting bladder because there was a drug addict serenading outside my door. I've also seen 'beautiful' prostitutes down the wharf sexily posing, much to my interest I've also seen some lopsided buildings I think you call... Slums. After all, it isn't too bad, at least we seem to share something common. Thanks.

Violence. Comparing myself with some unknown elements screaming at two in the morning, I think I'm rather Cool. This makes me doubt whether I'm a Malaysian since Malaysians are supposed to be quote 'prone to violence'.

What I should do next time I think is to jump out of bed, rush out, and do some of my flying kicks. That's violence.

Lastly I think it's high time I chase after fellow Malaysians for some 'cat and dog satay. I've never tasted them before in my 20 years in 'Beautiful Malaysia".

From a Worried Worried Malaysian.