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Iii "...They had to Cut it Up Inside me..."

How long ago did you have your abortion? About two years ago.

Did your children know about it?

I talked about it thoroughly with the oldest one and the middle one.

Why did you decide to have an abortion?

I was facing the danger of having a deformed child. I had had two miscarriages before; the doctor had called them blighted ovums. I had a talk with him about this and I told him how I felt I was 40. And somehow I felt it wasn't worth it to me if the baby was defective. It would have been a burden on all the other children. It's an expensive proposition and it would have been a very painful experience. I wasn't about to take the chance. The doctor would have been willing to prescribe a therapeutic abortion, but it would have had to go before a hospital board and there just wasn't time. I had waited so long considering and considering and considering- There wasn't time for the board to meet and make a decision. I would have been in my fourth month. I realized that I was taking quite a chance either way; I didn't know which was worse.

We finally decided to go ahead with an abortion out of the country, and I knew—I just knew—that there would be complications.

Did you have an appointment for the abortion?

Yes. It was all arranged. The man was a doctor. He had a degree from the University of Mexico. I got his name from an underground list of doctors who do abortions. I tried a number of them before I found this man most of them had been cleaned out of Tijuana in May. They had an answering service in Tijuana and had to relay the call to Juarez. They would call you back and give you the information and you would say what you wanted to do. Then they drove you by a roundabout way to the clinic. It was pleasant and clean, but nothing was sterile. They didn't even put towels on the table-not even a paper towel.

That's something I wouldn't even have noticed.

Well, I was aware of it because I was in nurses' training and I know what sterile technique is.

It must have been terrifying to you then.

It was. I resigned myself at that point that I was going to have complications and that I would hurry back to my own doctor as soon as possible to be taken care of. If I had been in any kind of situation where I could have done something about what I saw, or even comment on it, I would have done so, but I was completely at the mercy of these people.

What was it that frightened you so much about it?

Well, as I said, the place was very clean but it was not sterile. They didn't even have a cover on the table. When the instruments are piled up and put in a bunch on the table they're not sterile. When the doctor does not wear gloves it's not sterile. And any lime you have anything coins directly into a sterile part of the body that's not sterile, there's a danger of infectio... There was no anesthetic [unclear: use] none whatsoever It was a perfectly formed fetus and the had to cut it up inside so it was a pretty sticky thing.

How long did it last?

I went in Friday night I was so far along that they had [unclear: a] dilate me, and the dilation took 12 hours. So from the [unclear: tim] I came in till noon the next day they dilated me. And they did not use an anesthetic I was very uncomfortable. Apparently my blood pressure was very low and they would [unclear: no] take the chance (from their point of view) of giving me [unclear: a] anesthetic. The next day about noon they did the [unclear: abort] and they made me rest about an hour and we stayed [unclear: thi] night. I was exhausted. Well, part of the reason was [unclear: because] after it was all over we went on a walking tour of [unclear: Juarny] And then we went to dinner and by that time I [unclear: could] even stand up anymore and I went tubed. The next [unclear: roo] ing we took the plane back and everything was fine [unclear: that] was Sunday night and Monday night I called the [unclear: doctor] told him what happened and asked if there was anything [unclear: a] could do. He said, "No, if there are any complications [unclear: a] me know." So everything was fine until that [unclear: Wednesday] don't remember what we were doing, but all of a [unclear: sudent] was in a cold sweat and in tremendous: pain. I called [unclear: to] doctor. I remember sitting on the table waiting for him [unclear: a] come in and I almost passed out. I had a massive [unclear: infeet] but it only lasted for a few days.

How much did this cost you?

Six hundred dollars.

[unclear: "Ramparts"]