Fishbones.

By Prof. Hound.

"With becoming modesty he (Mr. Birks) said he had not done very much, and added that it was a life-time job."—"Smad's" report of the appointment of a Records Officer. It is understood that the Building Committee are seriously considering co-opting Mr. Birks as a member.

* * *

"Educational relationships make the strongest ties," quotes "Smad." This appears to be the slogan the Women's Common Room Hunt Club is looking for.

* * *

"Fishy Lecture," "Fishbones," "Tale of a Fish"—all in last "Smad." This scaly little rage might well be described as "a schnapper-up of unconsidered trifles."

* * *

Prof. Hound,

Fishbones Specialist,

V.U.C.

May I, through your column, make a suggestion to the Building Committee?

The amenities of student life at V.U.C. are restricted by the absence of more adequate Stud. Ass. quarters. Furthermore, it is generally agreed that V.U.C. is a jolly good place spoilt by too much study. Cannot the College part of the present Gymnasium, and the Stud. Ass. headquarters be located in the brick building, with the Stud. Ass. in control of such building? The present library would make a fine social hall if suitably converted. It might not be quite so easy to convert the College Council, but that would be the job of the Building Committee.

I am,

Waiting for a good nibble.

Sardine Sammy.

* * *

Looking through a recent gramophone catalogue, I came upon the following inspiring announcement:

Sensational debut of

Valaida

(queen of the trumpet),

playing

"I Can't Dance, I've Got Ants in My Pants" (Foxtrot).

It looks as though she had a pretty thin time!

* * *

"When I was a new member I was frightened to open my mouth for six months," quoth the veteran, Mr. Bradshaw.

He could probably eat two Caf. pies after that.

* * *

"Mock Parliament l Otago."

We have a permanent on in Wellington.