Chapter Eighteen
'Plonk'

If justification for the inclusion of a chapter on 'Plonk' be needed, it must be found in the close association between supplies of the same and the general morale. After all there are only two subjects supposedly open to the discussion of men, viz., beer and women., and when the latter subject is heavily censored the former must have its quota of interest.

We do not intend here to expatiate on the relative merits of the Garrick, the Club or the Metropole and the after hour possibilities of MacDonald's, the Melbourne and the GPH in Suva; nor indeed do we seek to record the deeds of derring do of sappers returning late from Lautoka's liquid refreshments. We haven't got the time! All we would wish to remind you of is the fact that at certain times and seasons there was refreshment to be obtained and that when there was any lack the usual genius of the engineer for improvisation found some incredible outlets.

In Fiji things were reasonably wet, although there were some shortages of the necessary. In the extraction of bottles from the wirenetting enclosure at Samambula Camp the engineers enjoyed some notoriety and especially over the festive seasons no doubt had their fair share. A reputation for 'running the cutter' in a piano accordeon case and the connivance of 'Ernie' with a crown top and his refrigerator was amply borne out by the major's amazement at a palliasse of empties which welcomed the dawn'of 1942. That the road from Suva was long and the taxi service rotten; that the road was longer still from Lautoka and the taxis non-existent; that the wog waggon from Nausori was erratic and that kava was a poor substitute at any time, these were but a page 109few trials of the rolling Fijian road. The concensus of opinion expressed raucously in song from behind the birdcage bars, and on every other suitable occasion, dry or wet, was that we had definitely and without any possible shadow of doubt been far too long in those parts. As a means of revival after football in the sun or as a stimulus to effective engineer training in demolitions the Rewa provided many a cheer, but this was obviously on the wet side. On the dry side good cheer was more pineapple juice than otherwise. When 'comparatively sober' pickets manned the canteen; when sea wall workers had time for one only at the GPH; when the boys who had managed to dodge the anti-drunk ditches of the camp boundary were sobered up in a few minutes with the fire hydrant, who could say that life was a burden? Who would, in fact, dare to suggest that Fiji was not the best of all the islands after all.

It was after an all too brief soak in New Zealand beer that we went to the dry and thirsty land of New Caledonia. But good wine, it has been said, needs no bush, and we had little trouble in locating it as soon as we knew the word vin. In fact we located some biere before we had even met with the vin. The provost corps certainly had some trouble in checking up on the correct number of bottles ex the holds of several ships. A whisky case which went overboard was retrieved with grappling irons as well as other things. The demand from the negro camp at Nepoui always exceeded the supply, too, so some assistance from transport in the way of jeeps became essential. Along with the very acceptable oeufs we found that New Caledonia could produce, in some circumstances, quite a creditable selection of drinks. Anise at four to ten dollars a bottle was very tasty but inclined to knock if taken neat. The general principle with this drink is to begin, at three years of age, with a nip and gradually get to like it. Liquorice mixed with gin at two to 15 dollars a bottle depended on the depth of the purse, Then the infamous vieux rhum alias butterfly brandy sold at almost any rate since it contained some 80 per cent kerosene, 14 per cent water and a soot residuum, sO they said. The general influence of this so-called drink was to make the head as light as the New Caledonian butterflies, and colours as brilliant and variegated as those of the butterflies to dance before the eyes. Plain ordinary vin rouge (80 per cent water and 20 per cent rouge) could be consumed in rather larger page 110quantities. Vermouth at five to six dollars a bottle was a better investment for quick returns. After the first suspicions had worn off, the cellar in generous quantity was usually broached and, provided we returned the bottles, there always seemed to be some more.

Up Voh and Temala way it was necessary during long droughts to try various substitutes. Raisins, sugar and yeast with the help of the cookhouse staff were a useful line, and when supplemented by fruit juice had astounding effects. A dash of essence of lemon for one warrior produced an illusion of reality to the silhouette targets on the jungle range and with blood curdling whoops, better suited to the real thing, he stalked upon and wrestled with the unresisting cardboard. Raisin 'plonk' was not necessarv to the playing of midnight sirens among the gaiacs, nor to New Year celebrations by majors and sergeant-majors in the swimming pools. The niaouli tree, in grey and ghostly moonlight, also leant itself to the fevered imagination, and we have heard of sappers who, getting into arguments with Melaleuca (niaouli) came out second best with fists like footballs. There was, too, L'affaire Thio, in which a birthday party was celebrated well but not wisely.

Impressions of the poor quality of issue liquid were often recorded by the Engineers' Epistle and the Cactus Chronicle. In fact both quantity and quality of the drinks were below par and frothy. The 23rd Field, however, is the only one known to have made contact with what was known as Vila-nous ' plonk'; and it was not until we had all reached the high-water mark at Guadalcanal that we began to understand what 'plonk' rightly meant. A certain padre when describing the devastating effects of 'plonk' to the assembly of Presbyterian divines, explained the origin of the word by suggesting that it was so called because 'you plonked it into the system and then you plonked on the ground.' His recipe was coconut milk, rice and raisins, left for three days to work, with, if desired, a dash of hot stuff, in the shape of a couple of bottle of insect repellent. We can do better than that, however; recipes bettering Beeton's. The Gonophone, official organ of the 23rd Field, suggests the following:—Select and chop down a well-laden coconut palm. This is the hard part. Pour the contents of 24 nuts into a captured Jap bucket. Eight mugfuls equal one gallon. To each gallon add three pounds of sugar (white sugar page 111

The landing on Nissan was a model example of co-ordination of all arms of the service

page 112preferred but grey will do). Add yeast and, to flavour, a drop of pineapple juice. Carefully place bucket where no one can see it. A discarded singlet on top will discourage suicide in insects. On the second day juice begins to bubble. On the fifth it positively hisses. The result is stunning.

Some well-advertised brands of US beer were purchased for sixpenny souvenirs from the Americans we first contacted. When we got north, however, we made shift to supply the Americans with our own efforts and got the souvenirs back, or equivalent cash. A roaring trade in private stills and the problem of how to get the dollars back to New Zealand were incidental to the war effort but none the less essential. By the time we reached Nissan there were no longer 'scattered remnants of marines' to liquidate in an engineer 'binge-or-near.' Supplies there were supplemented by regimental funds and when earlier manpower drafts had missed their share of the good things offering we could almost imagine ourselves back at home—almost! Adam's ale being in short supply we naturally sought to eke out the supply by improvisation. Our success was as great as our ready overcoming of adverse circumstances under more serious deficiencies.