The Fish Story

Verily my brethren I say unto ye, that whosoever hungereth so shall he seek his dinner at the water's edge. And so it came to pass that the stores of the 34th Battalion were sore depleted, and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth, for the bellies of the men were woefully empty. And they didst call down the wrath of seven 'devils on their company quartermaster when their appetites were not satisfied, and Owen son of Hannafin was sore distressed. Verily, verily, was there much muttering and the speaking of harsh words in the evening, when the men went forth to do battle with the mosquitoes which had been visited upon their weapon pits. Yea, they cried forth in a loud voice saying: 'Forwhosoever dost stand guard by the sea in the darkness, so shall he be deprived of his sleep in the day, and his belly shall be empty at all times, and his person tormented by the bites of fleas."

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Verily didst a feeling of unrest settle upon the land and woe was manifested to all men. Then came a wise man among them saying: 'Forasmuch as ye do stand guard by the water's edge, so shall ye find food to sustain ye at all times.'

Thus was there discussion of much magnitude amongst the men, for their bellies and backbones were in close collaboration; so it did come to pass that Sneddon, who was of the mortars, and Oswald, who was a captain of high standing, didst go forth into the wilderness in search of food. There was much acclamation, and joy was manifest to all men, for were these not good men and true, and verily didst the hopes of all men rise as does the moon rise in the heavens. For so it came to pass that these men went forth into a strange land, and didst wander at the water's edge. For many hours didst they wander, and a great weariness was visited upon them, but they failed not, neither didst they falter.

Then didst they perceive a great shoal of fishes close into the shore, and they were greatly cheered, for had not the wise man said that thus would their food be delivered unto them. Then didst Sneddon say unto Oswald: 'Verily, my friend, we have found a multitude of fish. So shall we catch them in great numbers, and transport them to the encampment, where Owen son of Hannafin will be much rejoiced.'

And so didst Oswald stand forth saying in a loud voice: 'Take forth from out the box one sticky bomb, and grasping it firmly in thy strong right hand, cast it forth upon the waters.' And Sneddon did this and they didst shelter suddenly behind a large rock, whilst a large explosion didst shake the earth. Thus did a large column of water ascend into the air and all men were sore afraid lest it should not recede. And when the waters had receded so did they perceive a multitude of fishes upon the waters, to the number of several hundreds.

Then didst come upon the scene Logan, who was a man whom all men saluted, and he didst bring with him one Johansen, who was a Swede, and they didst load upon the carriage all the fishes, whereupon it was taken to the house of Johansen, and a host of soldiers descended upon it was large knives and staves. Then was a foul smell visited upon the atmosphere, and the soldiers didst wrinkle their noses for they were sore beseiged. So it came to pass that all the fish lay in the cookhouse where Owen son of Hannafin was of a joyful mind, and there was no doing of blocks throughout the day.

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And in the morning, the men spoke praise to the name of William son of Moroney, who had expended much energy in the preparation of the meal, of which they had all partaken.

So it did come to pass that all men rejoiced and spoke the names of Sneddon and Oswald with great praise. And so I say unto ye that whensoever do ye hunger, go ye forth and linger at the water's edge, beseeching thee to take one ST Grenade Mark 2,, and a multitude of fishes will be delivered unto ye.