Ain't Love Grand?

She: "What's the matter, don't you love me any more?"

He: "Of course I do, dear, I'm only resting."

Hic!

Where there's a swill there's a sway.—(Shake-us-u-beer.)

Hoc!

Eat, drink, and make merry—and to-morrow you'll wish you were dead.

The Go-By.

He: "I've got a wonderful family tree."

She: "You're the sap, I suppose."

Raw Romance!

His lips said "Darling"—but his breath said "Onions.!"

Torture.

News Hash from Chicago . . .

Mrs. Caiharine March told a Chicago divorce court judge that her husband neglected her dog. killed two pet canaries, and tortured her by caressing a plump woman in a taxicab beneath her window.

Sex!

"Would you believe that the Prof, is a sexagenarian?"

"What—the old fool, at his age too!"

* * * *

Supply and Demand?

Cow cockies in Taranaki regulate the size of their families by the number in the herd they milk. —(A Murphyism.)