SMAD. An Organ of Student Opinion. 1936. Volume 7. Number 16.
The Scoop of the Year
Of course you've read his verses in the "Saturday Evening Post." Those whimsical super-rhymes and dam-silly reflections on everything from ducks to Governments. But we'll bet you didn't know he was in New Zealand. It took some time, much beer and a great deal of intimidation, but as you will see below, "Smad" managed to get the great Ogden Nash to give us his experienced views on Mr. Savage's right-hand man, and Mr. Ssavage's right hand man's fenetical finance.
Nashing of Teeth.
(To Walter, after Ogden.)
I address these few lines to you, Mr. Nash, in some tepidation and doubt,
Because, by the time this appears, your budget will be out;
Still, I suppose it won't do any harm to mention my apprehension.
When you assumed Office, I thought that the gifts to be conferred by Mr. Savage,
Yourself, Bob Semple, Paddy Webb, Peter Fraser, Old Uncle Frank Langstone and all would be lavage.
I don't think any large proportion of the nation expected more taxation;
Or, if there was, they thought you would hand it
To those who could stand it—
Men like the Kelly gang, with the soul of an adder or Boa.
Who sit in Auckland, a town which I never have liked and grind the face of the poa
I quite expected you, as Minister of Finance,
To kick them in the pance.
I dearly hope this Kelly gang can show
Enough posteriors deserving of your toe.
I'd hate to think that I, a humble voter,
Might be roped in to help make up the quota.
I'll soon have neither soles to my shoes nor a seat to my slackses.