It's Done Like This!

A Burlesque

On the coming Saturday Varsity played the Waining Collegians at Zootwon Park. The game was a brilliant exhibition of the code and there were only eleven casualties, all Wainingites. Miss Heffy Whackem, Varsity centre-forward, kicked off into a strong southerly swell. With brilliant stick and footwork she carried the ball through to the opponents' circle where, with a glorious piece of combined play she both incapacitated the goalie (she just couldn't take it!) and netted. Varsity 2 up.

From the resulting bully, the Waining wenches carried play up to the Varsity goalmouth where stalwart Ima Slosher responded valiantly to the emergency. The ambulance men—always present in great numbers at ladies' hockey matches—carried away the victims. Varsity 5 up. The Varsity forward line was now functioning perfectly and within ten minutes had disposed of the remaining fullbacks. Varsity 7 up. Miss Eavit Inn and Miss Heffy Whackem were now associated in several delightful rushes. Eavit threw a delightful goal and Heffy headed a beauty into the top of the net. Halftime came soon after with the score Varsity 9 (3 goals 6 casualties), Waining Collegians -6 (players).

The players now retired to the nearest place of refreshment where Varsity quickly ran out the winners. The Collegians were unable to stand the strain of doing duty for their absent companions and were soon hors de combat.

Here Jenny Sankitt upheld the Varsity honour. The team, laden with joy, tramped back to the battlefield, scored twenty more goals, just to prove their ability and clinch the issue. Varsity thus ran out the winners by 232 goals and 11 falls to nil.