The Law Course.

(Written for "Smad" by Our Special Solicitor.)

Once upon a time there was a Very Raw Student. Born and bred beneath the Classic Caption. "Integer Vitae Scelerisque Purus," he digested the best Ideals of his Day and Generation, but are he knew it Ambition had laid her compelling Paw upon him. With an eye to Eminence in Future years our Very Raw Student watched his English, crossed his T's. and never dropped his aspirations Eventually he reached the University. He peered into the Calendar for as human eye could see, saw the Vision of his Future—fifteen subjects plus Conveyancing. For our Student had been duped by Blackstone and Erskine and Parry, and other soothsayers of their [unclear: ilk], into believing that Law was the Shortest Straight Line between his Status Quo and Fame and Fortune.

Alas the Illusions of one's Ardent Youth! Proceeding through College in forma pauperis, this Student came upon one Rebuff after another, one Disillusionment before the next. Expecting to be instructed and tested in the [unclear: Ancient] and Amiable Arts of Advocacy he found instead that he would be examined on the Assimilation of adequate Axioms from Arid Archives. Instructed to partake of a particularly unpalatable repast of Definition, be learnt that this was "Criminal Law"—which he had always imagined as the Romantic Art of Keeping Criminals at Large "Property," which he counted on to provide serious matter for discussion resolved itself into a series of hotel scandals about bare licensees.' In "Evidence" he heard not a world on the Technique of Double barrelled Questions or on the distinction between Getting it to the Jury and Contempt of Court.

In the Annual Draw of the University Art Union each November, his luck grew steadily worse. But he still retained the old ideals of his boyhood. He received a severe shock when in a Referendum among Law Clerks, the Maxim "Sapientia Magis Auro Desideranda" was heavily defeated: and he was alarmed at the happy insolence of manner so common among newly-admitted lawyers. But above all the Last Straw (which finally unbalanced him) was the novel in which he read—

"The law and lawyers is about as queer as Dick's bat-band, as it went round ten times and then wouldn't tie in the end."

Convinced that the law course was less a Stepping Stone than a Mill Stone excluded by the Quota from studying Medicine and unable to take up Chimney-sweeping as he was not a Union man he became an [unclear: itinerant preacher], But like [unclear: Clyn Yeobright] he was well received everywhere, for the Story of his Life had become generally known.

L.D.C.

(Still more Rocks next week.)