The Spike or Victoria University College Review 1934
This House was Built in 1932 for Students of Victoria University College through the munificence of William Weir."
With the second year of its infancy all but gone, Weir House is able to look back at the past with satisfaction, and to the future with feelings of confidence. With our initial difficulties and uncertainties overcome, and the whole machinery of the House running smoothly and strongly, we may, with our domestic peace assured, turn our attention to the conflict in the world without.
To gauge the influence which Weir House exerts on the life of the University is a difficult task, nor is it our endeavour to attempt an estimate thereof. Suffice it to say that our number now totals 88, and that it is the earnest desire of most of this number to enter as fully as possible, both individually and collectively, into the various phases of College life.
Within the portals of Weir House dwells every species of University man. We have in our midst the athlete; the debater; the "social" man; the scholar; the musician; and finally, that strange incomprehensible being, usually a hybrid combination of some of the foregoing, called the "intellectual," whose principal claim to eminence, it seems, lies in the undue frequency with which he breaks forth into violent and ungoverned bursts of protest against the functioning of the present social structure.
On reading the April number of Smad this year, we found that we had indeed a viper in our bosom, to wit, one who cringingly sheltering behind the pen-name of "Junius" attacked, in a thin undergraduate wit, entirely devoid of effervescence, the "facile flippancy, childish chaff, boyish bull, and smirking smut which he alleged pervaded and discoloured our lives and conversations. After a long silence, we feel it our duty to re-assure all fond mothers who read Smad that the impressionable minds of their sons have no occult and harmful influences brought to bear upon them at Weir House and that the writer of the aforesaid article is merely one of the more unhinged type of "intellectual whom the House condescendingly humours in the cherished hope that by contact with the more enlightened of his fellows, the error of his ways may ultimately be brought home to him.
We record our gratitude to the College Council for the fine billiard room which now graces a portion of the ruins which "depression laid upon the land." So well has the billiard table been patronised that we feel confident that the efforts of some of our members are already throwing the shadow of Lindrums coming eclipse across the luminary. Bridge, poker, and such languid indoor games also furnish a strong attraction in this room, and for those who desire rest for the weary body and peace for the tired mind, the cosy, drowsy fireside offers an irresistible lure. Despite sterling efforts on the part of several residents, the hand of Woman has as yet piloted no ball across the velvet surface of the table. Will you, fair reader, be the first?
On the social side, Weir House has provided several enjoyable functions. Mention should be made of our Annual Dance, which was held in a joyous spirit of bonhomie, the only drawback being the difficulty, prior to the Dance, of approaching a prospective partner, owing to the stringent restrictions imposed by the tyranny of the "Misogynists' Club." A bridge evening also seemed to find popularity with the damsels of V.U.C. We must also refer to our sumptuous Xmas Dinner at the end of last year, for which we have to thank the Matron. Finally, we may tactfully make mention of the informal little entertainments which bring so many visitors to Weir House on Sunday afternoons, and such joy to the hearts of the residents.
On the sporting side, Weir House claims to hold its own. Residents take their place in the various Varsity Clubs, in many cases not without distinction. But with all due deference to the parent bodies, we find that the happiest games are those of our own making. The North v. South football and cricket matches; Wrestling and Boxing in the Gym.; the victorious southward journey of the Weir House XV. to Rolleston House; but paramount our Sunday excursions to Maidstone Park, where, after a languid morning s cricket in the sunshine, we troop joyously in to find refreshments have been provided "on the spot."
Another recreation worthy of mention, is the Saturday evening sing-song round the piano, to the mournful accompaniment of a saxophone. The wealth of latent vocal talent in the House is incredible, and far down the road one may hear the rousing voices in their virile rendering of "Old Father Thames" and "The Last Round Up."
Modesty forbids that we should dwell upon our academic prowess. We may, however, fittingly mention that we have in our midst several mark hunting geniuses of note, to say nothing of a select few would-be orators, whose performances have earned them merited recognition. We also number among the residents several humorists of the highest order, whose constant chaff and ready repartee at debates have caused many a confident and sophisticated speaker to falter and fall.
The observant passer-by will no doubt have noticed the improvement in the appearance of our grounds, largely due to the activity and foresight of our Warden. Where yesterday stood bare nothingness, to-day may be seen neat lawns and a profusion of shrubs. These have continued to flourish, despite the vigorous treatment meted out to them by some of our golfing enthusiasts, who, forgetting all in their ardent zeal for the grand old game, turned these pleasant surroundings into extensive golf links, the lawns and gardens doing service for fairways, and the shrubs for bunkers. After having duly disturbed portions of the landscape, and themselves page 125 been disturbed by the advent of the Warden, they have since refrained from this indulgence.
No record of Weir House life would be complete without reference to The Food Question. Of the many arguments, academic, social and frivolous, which take place in the House, no point is argued with greater zest or more meticulous thoroughness than this patent problem; and although the authorities get many "Noes" and perhaps a few "Ayes" they are never rewarded with a single "Ear! Ear!" for their efforts on our behalf.
It will perhaps interest our readers to know that we have now formed ourselves into an association, "The Weir House Association," and with travail and peine forte et dure the House now carries on under a constitution. What with the constitution and "The Vigilance Committee," the latter a self-appointed body of detectives whose object is to check the movements of the House Committee, the latter unfortunate body lives in perpetual dread of the oft threatened motion of no confidence which awaits them upon the commission of any error.
Any gentle reader who, after scanning these notes, feels a mild interest in our activities, is respectfully urged to procure a copy of the Weir House History, a pithy volume full of quips and cracks and wise saws and sayings, and written more especially for those who, though they admire from afar, have not the advantage of residence at Weir House. Amid the tortuous and divergent paths of the narrative, they will doubtless elicit sufficient information as to our mode of life to cause them to strive to attain that pre-eminent academic moral and athletic standard which may qualify them to be granted the honour of residence at Weir House.