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SMAD. An Organ of Student Opinion. 1934. Volume 5. Number 5.

Library Bulletin

page 7

Library Bulletin

A : The following facts are published for general information:—

Property :

1. For the private use of the Librarian and his customers, an interviewing room has been built, so that readers will not be disturbed by his frequent breaches of Rule 11 hereof.

2. The Psychology portion has been reserved for the amelioration of the condition, of the amorous.

3. Cough in' Sections will be measured out for readers with divers diseases.

Access :

4. A special right-of-way has been set aside for through traffic.

5. Numerous exits on the lines of the Sybilline Caves are now in use.

Furnisings :

6. For those whom cacoethes scribendi impells to [unclear: annotate] text-books, sympathetic ink is provided

7. Quartz-inercury-vapour lamps have been in-stalled to obviate the extraordinary chiaro-obscura effects.

Contents:

8. The number of copies of text-books has been increased, and concomitantly the Borrowers' Index Expurgatorious amplified.

9. Novels are available for those whose labours are not sufficiently entrancing to keep them from distracting others.

10. Strait-jackets and gags will be issued on request.

B : The following additonal regulations are now in force:—

Conduct:

1. The Librarian and any 12 reasonable students (if available) shall be deemed to have summary jurisdiction up to and including hours other than those reserved for lull-time students, who are a law unto themselves.

2. The Librarian shall not read the Riot Act more frequently than once at a time.

3. Three hundred seconds' silence shall be ob-served every five minutes.

Organisation.

4. There is hereby appointed a traffic inspector to direct the hourly procession.

5. —Peripatetic exercises shall be limited to the Persian Carpets.

6. Woollen slippers shall be issued to all readers, their use being mandatory.

General

7. The use of missiles is prohibited all over the place.

8. Readers shall not play "blocks" with the books, and Law Reports shall not be used as fortifications.

9. In case of failure of the lights, the Librarian shall ignite his cigarette-lighter, and shall not permit same to be extinguished until the restitution of illumination.

M. Buist.