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SMAD. An Organ of Student Opinion. 1934. Volume 5. Number 3.

Architectural Diarrhoea — Weir Outhouses

Architectural Diarrhoea

Weir Outhouses.

Weir has been decorated with two " temporary " outhouses. "Smad's" representative has gleaned opinions on them from the aesthetic coterie at Weir House :—

"A splendid example of Neo-Wikitorian architecture."

I've seen better cow-sheds."

"Morbid manifestation of Epstein effrontery."...

"The Hen House and the whare."

"Architectural diarrhoea."

" .... and why the final atrocity—a long sinuous, unsightly erotic green water pipe that begins its disgusting career from the guttering above the portal (4x2 N.Z. O.B. timber as supplied) dips hideously towards earth, then abruptly changes its mind, and lunges fiercely at the main wall (more O.B. timber) only to change its mind once more, head earthwards in another five feet of filthy verdance, then when almost there, to make a last, despairing effort to slither its growing greenness obliquely along the yellow walls and bend with a triumphant two-way corner just below the window to empty its miserable trickle along the fairway.

It is a pity the genius of the plumber was suppressed at all. How much better if the pipe could have been run through the first window, twined four times round the billiard table, then thrust out through the roof and slid in a graceful arch across to the main building, curling gracefully up and down the pillars, insinuating itself through the warden's bedroom, traversing the top floor once, the other floors twice, then led by devious twists across the grounds and finally empty itself with a superior gush into the month of the cable-car tunnel.

Oceans Of Fruit Salad At The Hockey Tournament Dance, Sat. Next. Coster Ball bachelor Tax, 2/6d. Concession to couples, 4/6d. Come to the Coster Ball and have no regrets.