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SMAD. An Organ of Student Opinion. 1934. Volume 5. Number 1.

House Hostilities

House Hostilities

Dear "Smad,"

Since the finish of the exams, there has been a brightening in the gloom at Weir House. The First Friday of Freedom was one of revelry, and in the years to come one will recall with pleasure and pride the fact that one was privileged to witness Tony Chorlton in his glorious escapade, "One of Everything." Mind you, he wasn't the only one!

Then came the Final Dance, and what a night! The boys bowled in at all hours, and rumour hath it that certain well-respected gentlemen in the House failed to make contact with the hay, and devoted their leisure hours before work in swimming

It is with sorrow that we record the departure from the House of "No-confidence" Arty, scourge of the House Committee. He was given a great send-off, and we hope that in his new sphere he will be an inspiration to his fellows to the same extent as he was at Weir House. Arty's last effort before leaving was an auction sale of the accumulation of several years' hoarding, which netted him a few bob. Well. I mean to say, good luck. Arty!

All went quietly until about two weeks ago, when a mighty subterranean trembling smote the metropolis. Most of the residents turned over and resumed their sleep, muttering imprecations against the Deity, but the Warden, at once assuming the role of dry nurse, assured those timid souls who had gathered in the marble halls that the building was "earthquake-proof." After he had tucked them in in his famous bedside manner, the house was quiet, except for the telephone calls from anxious parents enquiring after dear Cuthbert.

These notes would be incomplete without mention of Brian O'Shea's beard. The few who saw it were amazed at the wonderful crop, but admiration changed to pity when a curl appeared! That ruined the whole effect. And. by the way, should anyone passing Weir House hear moans, don't, please, don't, blame the food. It's only Bob Hall—he's always underhandicapped.

And, finally, a word to the new boys. There's nothing to be afraid of in the House except perhaps the Matron's bloodhound and Geo. Sainsbury's S.C.M. We wish you a happy stay here, and may you soon learn to criticise the House Committee as well as some of our departed friends.

Cheerio

"Shell-shocked."

Printed at the Printing Works of Messrs White and Sons, Printers and Bookbinders, Aitken Street, for V.U.C.S.A.