Bigger and Better Biscuits.

Dear Comrade,—

The present biscuits are getting more and more miserable—no width and no peanuts. What are they, then? As consistent consumers of four round meals a day per capita in the Caf., we advocate a return to the good old days of the 1932 session, when the biscuits were of standard weight and measurement and one sufficed.

Furthermore, the butter is a swindle; they pay a pound, and we ought to get 1/12 of a pound for one penny, and you can hardly see the pats—and then they say you are greedy. ! ! ! !

In hopes of the Millennium.

• Joan Powell,
• Dorothy Souter,
• Nan Welch,
• Rani Miller,
• Patricia Martin,
• Gwenda Norman-Jones.
• Shirley Donne,
• Nancy Webber.

(On behalf of and representing the waisted-wasted wraiths).

Clashing Fixtures.

Dear "Smad,"—

I wish to bring to your notice an ! to that of your rentiers a matter concerning the Clubs of Victoria College. It is a thing which should be rectified and could he quite easily if the various secretaries would only co-operate. Too many times this year the notice board has disclosed the unwelcome fact that two or more clubs would be meeting on the same evening. To give two particular cases: Quite recently the Fret Discussions Club put up a notice about six days in advance that there would be a meeting of that club on a certain Thursday. Two days later the Literary Society advertise a meeting on the same date. On the evening of Thursday, August 10th, two clubs again clashed, the Discussions and the Dramat[gap — reason: illegible]. On this occasion there was an excuse: both may have wished to hold their meetings before the vacation. The science societies, coming earlier in the week, seldom cause any trouble.

Secretaries of the clubs concerned would do well to consider before putting their notices up whether the evening decided upon is free or not; otherwise they are merely cutting their own throats. Each of the clubs has its small band of stalwarts who rally round, no matter what other attractions there are. But these are only a handful of people, and the excellent meetings I have attended are worthy of more than that.

Then there are other people, like myself, who wish to support several clubs, and are again and again faced on the same evening with two or more meetings of equal attractiveness. It is most annoying to have to miss any one of them.

Free Discussions Club Writers.

Dear "Smad,"—

In view of your reply to Mr. Plank in the June number, and of the general nature of the paper, I am instructed by my committee to draw your attention to the fact that "Smad" does not appear to be fulfilling its true function. If, in carrying out your intention of fostering the College clubs, hoping thereby to help them to further successes, you find it necessary to use up most of the paper merely for reporting purposes, resulting in the absence of other matter through the consequent lack of space, then it most definitely cannot be said that "Smad" is "an organ of student opinion at V.U.C" as is presumably intended according to the title page.

If "Smad" is adequately to carry out its functions as a mirror of student opinion and a vehicle for its expression on matters of vital importance to the College, it must freely open its columns to all expressions of opinion from all sections represented in the College, no matter of how controversial a nature they may be, and I am asked to obtain from you an assurance that in future this policy will be carried out, thus making "Smad" what it purports to be, an organ of student opinion at V.U.C., and not a mere medium for the dissemination of sporting information and cheap literary jargon of a more or less feeble nature.

It may be argued that suitable contributions are not made available to you, but in this connection it must be pointed out that the responsibility is yours, Sir, and yours alone; your paper will become only what you make it. If you are content to allow the reputation of "Smad" to remain at its present low level, you cannot expect to attract the talent for which you so appealingly advertise each month.

It is only fair to mention that your last issue in much improved, but it is hoped that the standard then set up will be far surpassed in the future.

(We would remind the Free Discusions Committee that it is not the duty of an Editorial Staff to write the magazine themselves but to Edit whatever is submitted for publication. This the committee has endeavoured to do, and articles are published which are of sufficiently good literary standard. Below is published a letter received from the Secretary of the Students' Association and articles submitted should comply with the requirements mentioned therein.—Editor.)

The Editor, "Smad."

Dear Sir,—

I forward for your information an extract from a letter recently received by my Executive from the Chairman of the Professorial Board. The reference is to the recent amendments to the Clauses covering publications in the Constitution of the V.U.C.S.A.:— "Facilities for the proper discussion of student affairs and student thought are eminently desirable; but that discussion must be under reasonable supervision, and this, I think, the proposals provide. I would express the hope that discussion be kept on the intellectual rather than the emotional plane, and that literary merit be a sine qua non. Cheap sneers and vulgar epithets neither advance the cause of the advocate nor reflect credit on the College; and we must bear in mind that matter accepted for publication in College magazines, whether under the direct supervision of the Students' Association or emanating direct from affiliated clubs and bearing the name of the College, are accepted as an expression of College opinion and College dialectics. Consequently a very great responsibility rests upon the Editor to exercise that supervision necessary for serious thought and at the same time to keep his magazine an open forum."

Is This the Reason?

Dear "Smad,"—

Who is this stranger come amongst us to usurp the limelight to such an extent as to capture the cover of your "naice" innocuous little tract? To misquote Byron (the author of Juan in America), "I know him not." Not a particularly apt or striking culling from modern literature, but you see Mr. Banister long ago seized upon all the best quotations. But to cut the cackle, boss, who is this nude exposed to the chilly blasts of Kelburn ? Can you imagine yourself in the same predicament, Mr. Edtior? Why not build a high fence round the exhibition of brute strength and positive indecency? Do you want another sermon from the Canon? 'Swounds, Sir, your wit is but poor stuff.

Now. I see no liking to any famous personage in this Titian figure (ask Prof. Life and Beauty if I have my art jargon correct). The build suggests that legendary figure, Martin-Smith; the reversed figure might be C. S, Plank, weeping for the sins of Society. But these are but vague guesses. None of the above would permit himself to pose in such lack of lingerie. Only a radical would do that, and, alas, those are not the legs of comrades Watson and Riske.

Sir, you are unmasked! Your plot is revealed! To the editorial gallows with you and your cover.

—Sherlock Robespierre.

(Foiled.—Editor).

Executive Letter.

Dear "Smad,"—

I have to report the following activities of the Executive since my last letter to yon.

The Professorial Board have been approached, asking that the extended Library hours operating in the 3rd. term of last year should be continued this year. The Board have agreed to extend the hours on week nights till 10 p.m., and it is also hoped that arrangements may be made to keep the Library open on Saturday afternoons.

The Executive has approved the setting up of a Common Common Room Committee. This Committee will consist of the President of the Men's and page 10 Women's Committees and the Treasurer of the Men's Committee. It is hoped that this Committee will be able to considerably improve the present conditions of the Common Common Room.

A grant of L2 15s. has been passed for the Chess Club, which did not receive a grant when the previous allocations were being made.

Mr. F. P. Kelly, LL.B., of Hastings, has been awarded a Blue in Hockey for 1903 at his request.

As a result of a recent purchase of a quantity of College badges, it has been possible to reduce the price of badges in the Cafeteria to 2s. each.

The telephone, which was previously situated at the top of the stairs in the Gymnasium, has been moved into the Executive Room, and students wishing to use the 'phone should enquire there. This telephone is an extension from the one at the Cafeteria stairs, and incoming calls will generally be answered at the Executive Room. Urgent telephone calls for students will be taken, but no responsibility can be taken apart from leaving a note in the College letter rack.