A Tour of the College.

for Freshers and Fresherettes.

"Smad Special Service.

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is Victoria University College. No laughter, please! This is an object of much reverence and no little respect. It has been described by one eminent amongst us as "the building with the Queen Anne front and the Mary Ann back." however that may be.

Those harrowed people entering the building, ladies and gentlemen, are students. You will be students from now on, ladies and gentleman, so note the look. They have just been interviewing the professors.. one of whom you now see ascending the stairs. Hats off, please, gentlemen! Thank you. Put them on again now: no one will throw pennies into them here. The idea of interviewing a professor is that he may be able to mislead you as to your course.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this is the College Entrance Hall. You will not be allowed to linger here. On my right you see Mr. Brooks. How are you Mr. Brooks? These, Mr. Brooks, are freshers and freshettes. Now, ladies and gentlemen, listen while Mr. Brooks clicks his fingers. Ha! Note that it is an old University custom, and as such must be observed. Follow me. This is the Common Common Room, only to be used by men and women together. What, for necking? Well—yes, and again no. This, gentlemen, is the Men's Common Room. A Common Room Committee will prevent you swearing, singing, smoking, spitting, standing, sitting, sleeping, lying, eating, breathing, thinking, or living here Come page 3 away from the place. And now, ladies, we have here the Women's Common Room. Yes, smoking is permitted here.

And now we show you the Library, complete with librarian. No—no flirting is allowed here, although it is done—especially in the Law Section.