The Female of the Species.

• Now, the lad from Wikitoria may be horrible and sleek,
• For some are really truly fierce, while some are queerly meek.
• But the female of the species on the slightest provocation
• Gets so awfully hot and bothered that she burns her insulation.
• Now the lad from Wikitoria in the heat of his debating
• May pass remarks that no one else would think were elevating.
• But the female of the species, in her frenzied oratory
• Will say a lot that goes beyond the bounds of common story.
• Now the guys I knew at 'Varsity, when they dined "au cafeteria,"
• Quite often wished the meal was just a little bit more "beerier."
• But the female of the species when she felt a little frisky,
• Could be heard complaining loudly that there wasn't any whisky.
• The sturdy men from "up the hill" who play for Senior A
• May in a heated moment indulge in bloody fray.
• But the female of the species uses claws and tooth and nail.
• For the Female of the Species is more deadly than the Male.

—Barnacle Bill, "The Bachelor."