Modern Woman Replies.

Dear "Smad,"—

If Magnanimous only knew, much light is thrown on this subject by his playful "Apology" for us in last issue.

Firstly, he seems to think his apology is an act of magnanimity. Well, we are tolerantly grateful for his good intentions, and we are also amused. Does he imagine that the ultimate goal of our bid for full status as human beings is solely ami only that we may acquire a few masculine vices? Let me tell him that the facts that women no longer wholly forswear tobacco, and that they sometimes "take a little wine for their stomach' sake" (his baulking at that universal adjunct of genus homo, "stomach" when writing of woman is a tantalisingly Victorian piece of mock modesty) are merely straws which show the way the wind is blowing. Had it not been for the countless generations of mannish prudery where women are concerned, wine and smoke would never have been regarded as masculine prerogatives, nor would the assumption of these sacred "rights" of men have been included as a part (and an episodical part at that) of woman's bid for her fundamental right to equality of status. Equality of status, did I say? Let Magnanimous and his ilk take note that the is aim is only the first rung of the ladder; the time will yet come when man will aspire to equality of status with woman, and when some magnanimous woman will be writing to "Smad" apologising for the modern man, and, by heaven, he'll need it!

The advocacy of Magnanimous for wine as a magic potion to extract truth from woman is most irritating. "What is the truth?" said Pilate, but got no answer because he didn't ask a woman. The proverbial jest about our veracity has worn a bit thin, as I hope Magnanimous will appreciate when these home truths penetrate his pericranium.

The present generation is witnessing the most significant revolution in the relativity of status of man and woman since the world began—this generation of ours, out of all the myriads of generations that have gone before! It is difficult' for us to realise this to the full, because we are on the spot; but posterity will know and exult; for every woman of this generation, if she only would, is privileged to be the Joan of Arc of the most wonderful crusade of all the ages!

Every woman, at last the Banner is given into your hand! Do not fail your fellow-crusaders, carry it to victory!

That Room Again!

Dear "Smad,"—

Thus early in the year, I think it fitting that the attention of your readers should be drawn to the dilapidated and altogether disgraceful condition of what the Executive are pleased to call, the Common Common Room. I understand that this room is set aside for the use of men and women students who wish to enjoy the society of the respective opposite sex.

The only occasion when this room fulfilled its purpose was at such times as when certain animated page 12 young women made dispirited attempts to sell jaded volumes on behalf of the Book of the Mouth Club (or one of those strictly non-literary societies). Committees are absolutely denied the use of this room — (need I mention the pathetic incident of the Dram-Club) —and even the' most conscientious of students may not absorb knowledge in this retiring spot.

We all realize how much the Exec, continues to foster the best inerests of the students, and, by mingling with them wherever possible, strive to keep in touch with their immediate wants. We appreciate this. That is why we are so surprised that such an enterprising and zealous body should have failed to make something of this room so pregnant with possibilities. I am sure that the harm done early last year by the Battle of the Sexes (waged by the Debating Society and Miss Davidson) has not been irreparable, and by a little encouragement on the part of the Exec., it might yet be possible to cement friendly relations between the men and the women of this College.

If a team of cleaners could be turned loose in this room, I am sure wonders could be worked, and with the addition of one cigarette stand, the Common Common Room could be rescued from the dishonour into which it has fallen.

Revive Them!

Dear "Smad," —

There seems to be a tendency among some of our clubs to depart from the ideas and characteristics which originally marked them out from others. One glaring instance of this has now apparently come under notice, and an attempt is being made to bring about a revival in the Free Discussions Club. But there is another club in the College which has departed from the ways of its fathers —to wit, the Haeremai Club. If one scans the Club's song one finds reference to the eating of pork pies and the wearing of bow ties. Not so many years ago these items were indeed characteristic of the Club—indeed, one could not enter a meeting unless the bow tie WAS in evidence. If a member were thoughtless and forgot his bow tie, it was necessary for him to convert his ordinary long tie into a bow —of sorts. Wierd and wonderful were the ties that appeared at the Club's functions.

But the second mark of distinction was likewise apparent. For supper, pork pies —not saveloys — were the sole edible, and there are plenty worse things than a pork pie for supper.

These two characteristics have now disappeared entirely, altho' the freshers are still exhorted to perjure their immortal souls by declaring that they still exist. It is time that bow ties and pork pies were revived, or else all reference to them expunged from the Club's song.

Off with 'Em!

A notice in the elevator of a well-known public building of this city says: —

"Do not grasp or pull the gates by the bars-otherwise your fingers may be amputated. Use the handles provided for this purpose."

The 'Surgeons' Union should take the matter up with the elevator!

A Sterling Idea.

Dear "Smad," —

Belloc said "A lost thing could I never find," and hundreds of baffled throats have taken up the cry, so that the walls of this College have echoed with it ever since.

Why? Because we have no Pound for lost and strayed articles. Why are the students so apathetic as not to have had one instituted long ago? They are forever losing things, but instead of doing something practical about it they just mope about. poking aimlessly into odd corners and bothering Brookie.

Other Colleges have Founds, so why not we?
It's better to have lost and found
Than never to have had a Pound.