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SMAD. An Organ of Student Opinion. 1931. Volume 2. Number 2.

Swimming

Swimming.

This innovation was for the second time, so far as Victoria was concerned, a miserable failure. Our representatives at the finish, if they were still in the water, were generally well over a lap behinb [sic]. Swimming at V.U.C. must be encouraged.

The Tepid Baths were packed, the air hot, the noise appaling, the visibility nil the lighting and seating accommodation most inadequate, and the man with the megaphone indistinct, but generally inaudible. No attempt was made to keep to the programme, few of the competitors were colours, and every race seemed to be a sixty-six and two thirds yards Open Handicap. Everyone cheered impartially and continuously, while the Megaphone was hiding the M.C.'s face, and his announcements would be followed by a mixed haka from the assembly and a splash as another beer bottle on programme was thrown into the water.

A pitiful attempt to enliven the proceedings was made by a few comedians, who fought feebly with each other oil two top-heavy pontoons.

At 9.35, in company with many others, we left them to it.

Afterwards a dance was held, and from all acocunts [sic] it stands out in relief as one of the high lights of the Tournament. Bishop, apparently one of the few men still able to control his major movement at 3 a.m., was in charge of the Knox College Delivery. It was his especial mission to see that all Knox students left lying about the deserted hallways were landed over to their friends before bleakfast. Bishop's memory is still hazy, but he recalls certain oft-crossed fences and ditches, and a number of ineffectual attempts to reach his own hearthstone afterwards, before he met perhaps the only taxi-driver in the City with those high intellectual faculties appropriate to the occasion.