A Talk With The Freshettes,

My Dears,—I cannot put your names above as your are entirely too numerous to be addressed momenatim and quite too shy to wish it; but, as you stand demurely before the portals of the University seeing with expectant eyes its doors slowly open, I write you this message containing some little advice, a few words of cheer, and perhaps some of hope.

First of all you are very welcome. The main reason for this is that women (though fresh from the schoolroom you are collectively entitled to this appellation) are now recognised as a necessary part of any well-equipped University; and, since this is so, we await eagerly the advent of the perfect University woman, as we have awaited her for years in vain, and perhaps you are she. One never knows when this ideal like Aphrodite may arise from the waves of womanhood which reach the outer confines of these shores only, for the most part, to sink back into the sea of married life for which nature intended them. Consequently I give welcome to you all in the hope that this may be the Annus Mirabilis.

It is now a commonplace that woman was the first seeker after knowledge and it is only a kindly word of warning on my part when I tell you that here as well as in Eden every woman who seeks not wisely but too well will find not only the rosy fruit but a hidden serpent and an angel with a flaming sword. The University, my dears, is a place where in peril of one's soul one must learn to distinguish between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is useful only to discover wisdom, therefore I would counsel each of you to set your heart on gaining wisdom. The finest type of wisdom is to be gained from a study of mankind, and I need hardly remind you of your copy-book maxim "the proper study of mankind is man." If you are able to study him long and accurately enough you may achieve the one increasing purpose of your career and retire from active practice the proud possession of one whole live and (to you) thoroughly satisfying specimen of the species.

Do you endeavour to become wholly and entirely a member of the intelligentsia, in the mistaken belief that human happiness can be reduced to a condition of satisfied aesthetic coma. Remember that the discovery of mutually satisfying states (I am sure Professor Hunter will tell you what this means if you ask him nicely) constitutes a large portion of human, page 4 bliss and that the greatest pleasures should be shared. It is not necessary, on the other hand, to devote one's entire energies to becoming a public character. The woman of affairs is an increasing menace in our midst. She demands not only a voice in all matters, which is her due, but shows a desire to act in the historic manner of St. Francis and become merely a voice and nothing else. Such women are, my dears, rightly regarded as disembodied spirits, riding their various broomstick opinions, and, like the witches of olden days, should be known only in bed-time stories for the young and as object lessons to warn the forward.

Be as feminine and inconsistent as you please—that is your birthright and we are not only used to it but expect it. In such exists, if you would only realise it, the greater part of your charms. It is best, however, to avoid as far as possible too much inconsistency in the small matter of time. Professors and lecturers are, I believe, not in favour of it, and such are, as you will come to know, sometimes impatient animals.

If I may counsel you with regard to your personal appearance let me remind you that the secrets of the toilet should never be made too open. To do your running repairs in public argues either carelessness in your initial preparation, or a too close regard for outward appearances. It is to be remembered, too, that some perfectly nice man may have the misfortune to occupy the same bench later and collect some of your hasty deposit of powder, either on his coat or worse still, his trousers.

If you desire to converse with a friend I must inform you that clustering in the corridors is frowned upon by the authorities. Should your friend be a young man, Mr. Brooks will quickly but kindly conduct you to the doors of the common common-room and there with a sympathetic smile tell you that this special room was provided for the purpse. If you have an especially bright smile for him he will moreover allow you to cluster in private and warn trespassers to keep off the grass. There is no charge for this but "Brooky" (as you will no doubt come to call our excellent major-domo) relishes a kindly word from the young and personable freshette. If you are able to command the admiration of this hardened connoisseur you will know that all worlds are open for your conquest; yes, even the hard hard heart of the President of the Dramatic Club.

One last word and I have done. Identify yourself with as much of the social life of the College as you are able, preserve your happy attitude and cheery smile, and eschew parochialism. So you will remain the happy freshette who may blossom into the perfect woman undergraduate. If you succeed may you never graduate out of such happy state even though you be "capped with B.A.'s" or worse. Amid the mysteries of the life before you permit me to subscribe myself as your unknown but sympathetic friend,

Audax.