Ode To November The Fifth

They were sitting in the Library—their smiles were very warm.
Yet no one spoke a single word—the lull before the storm!
They looked so very innocent as they toyed with bric-a-brac.
And the jolly little draughts were romping up and down each back.
The silence was uncanny, though no heads were bowed with care—
And then a thunderous banging split the study-sodden air.
A startled gasp rose upwards—every heart had missed a thump.
The echoes loud resounded up and down in Swotters' Dump.
Then down upon the gleeful youths our H—ld M—er fell,
And Exultation reigned throughout the College Swotting Hell!
Again, again, and yet again the roar and crash rang out,
And how they chortled one and all to hear their H—ld shout!
Above the clash and conflict—his order rang out true—
(Not "up and fix your bayonets," or "now, let the guns come through"),
But, "I give you all two minutes to vacate the Library."
So they took out all their watches the elapse of time to see,
And all the while relentlessly the crackers still would crack
And jump about our Harold and play up and down his back.
So then he came with foolscap and their names they had to tell.
Consternation reigned throughout the College Swotting Hell.
But all were pleasantly surprised as he took down his list,
To hear the H—d M—rs that they had within their midst.
And the Browns and Smiths and Wilfords were all represented well—
Merriment was reigning in the College Swotting Hell.—
By far the most intrepid of the Dynamite Brigade
Was the cheery Mr. Malfroy, who seemed strangely unafraid.
He led the rallies and attacks—such show of daring gave—
That he was marked by most to be the Bravest of the Brave.
All too soon the nigh was ended and "Lights Out" was loudly rung.
Homeward marched the volunteers (the fun had just begun).
Next there came the caucus of the Professorial Board,
And the wrath of Rank and Dignity upon their heads was poured.
And Mr. Malfroy—happy soul—was still devoid of fear,
And blandly gave his reason—"I don't Take lectures here."
He was going Home in April and had had his bit of fun,
So they bade him go and fined— the rest five soveigns in a sum.
We do not know the reason, but if they meant to rob,
The five pounds was forgotten, and they only got ten bob.
It was a famous victory—who won we cannot tell—
But-silence now is reigning in the College Swotting Hell.

—ZZZ.