Fairies:

"Tiptoe Round the Toadstool."

(Air: "Tiptoe Through the Toolips.")

Solo
Once, in earth s first splendour,
Hearts were kind and tender;
Science had none to befriend her.
Then, ere she came winging,
Care with knowledge bringing.
Mortals at evening could hear us singing:

Chorus
Wake up, drowsy mortal, from your pillow! leave your dreaming!
Come and tiptoe through the meadows with me!
Outside, in the stillness, by the magic of the moonbeams,
Fairies dancing round the toadstool you'll see!
Moonbeams have woven a charm
That keeps kind mortals from harm ;
And if you listen I can tell you fairy secrets in the moonlight.
While you tiptoe round the toadstool with me!

page 7

Pigfern and Scabious:

"We're Tigers of the Truncheon."

(Air (if any): "Ever so Goosey.")

We're tigers of the truncheon—
We're lions of the law—
We keep the state in awder—
By keeping it in awe.
How do you feel when they call you "Man of Steel"?
Ever so goosey, goosey, goosey!
How do you feel with your mas-cu-line appeal?
Ever so goosey, goosey, goosey!
In your martial pride,
Marching down the street,
Simply overwhelming
Every girl you meet,
How do you feel when a maiden's heart you steal?
Ever so goosey, goosey, goosey!

Of course we use discretion—
You mustn't call it fear—
And like the little sunbeams—
At night we disappear.
How would you feel if you saw a glint of steelf
Ever so goosey, goosey, goosey!
How would you feel if you heard a strangled squeal
Ever so goosey, goosey, goosey!
Unfamiliar street,
Ghostly hour of night,
Darkness full of noises,
Not a soul in sight,
How would you feel with a MURD'RER on your heel?
Oh! Ever so goosey, goosey, goosey!!!

Pirates:

"Ruthless Renegades are We."

(Air: "Tarantara," in "The Pirates of Penzance")

Ruthless renegades are we,
Tilooraloo! Tilooraloo!
Who infest the rolling sea,
Tilooraloo!
And the deep we closely scan,
Tilooraloo! Tilooraloo!
For the helpless merchantman!
Tilooraloo!
Then our dreadful flag beneath,
Tilooraloo! Tilooraloo!
And our weapons in our teeth,
Tilooraloo!
We advance upon our foes,
While the trumpet bravely blows,
While the trumpet bravely blows!
Tilooralooralooralooraloo, etc.

page 9

But when battleships appear,
Tilooraloo! Tilooraloo!
Inconveniently near,
Tilooraloo!
For relentless birds of prey
Tilooraloo! Tilooraloo!
Great forbearance we display;
Tilooraloo!
For though burning to aggress.
Tilooraloo! Tilooraloo!
Yet our fury we suppress,
Tilooraloo!
And before they open fire,
Undefeated we retire,
Undefeated we retire!
Tilooralooralooralooraloo, etc.

Though our page is black with crime,
Tilooraloo! Tilooraloo!
We anticipate a time
Tilooraloo!
When we'll haunt the sea no more.
Tilooraloo! Tilooraloo!
But retire to live ashore,
Tilooraloo!
Then we'll turn another page,
Tilooraloo! Tilooraloo!
And in business we'll engage;
Tilooraloo!
Though the life's a trifle tame.
Still the object's just the same,
Still the object's just the same!
Tilooralooralooralooraloo, etc.

page 9

Pirates:

"Long Life to Piracy."

(Air: "Song of the Vagabonds.")

Come all you rollicking pirates bold.
You lawless lovers of liberty!
(You lovers of liberty!)
Away to port and we'll stow the hold
With cargo more in our line than tea!
(Yes. more in our line than tea!)
Pirates still,
Although there's no one left to kill,
We can drink to piracy!

page 10

Chorus
Sons of blood and thunder,
Is it any wonder
If we stifle memory?
Deeds so dark and gory
Fill our reper-tory,
Conscience cries for equity!
Down her, clown her, sons of chivalry!
Drown her, drown her, in depths of eau-de-vie!
Death may find us shrinking;
Still we'll meet it drinking
Life, long life, to piracy!

page 11

Fairies and Pirates

"Triumph of Love."

(Air: Bridal March in "Lohengrin.")

Fairies:

Triumph of love! Soon they'll be wed!

Sensible mortal! He's taking a wife!

Pirates:

Sorrowful day! Count him as dead!

Blindly submitting to bondage for life!

Fairies:Now with her conquest leave her alone! Pirates:Useless to tell him he ought to have known! Fairies:Men we subdue, we rout them in battle! Pirates:Fleece us like sheep, and drive us like cattle! Fairies:Ours is the vict'ry! Ours is the will! Pirates:Heaven be thanked! We're bachelors still!