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The Spike or Victoria College Review October 1929

A Simple Egoist

page 10

A Simple Egoist

Sometimes, when I am full of trouble,
The world not using me too well,
I feel it's true that life's a bubble,
Society a downright sell;
When horses backed have "also started,"
And things look black right down the list,
And all my glory has departed,
I am a gloomy pessimist.
But, if by chance I've picked a winner
And hold a pocketful of coin,
I'll shout myself a royal dinner
And drinks to any man who'll join.
I am no gloomy pessimist
Disposed to brood,
I am a simple egoist—
When times are good.

Sometimes, when on a Sunday morning
I wake up with a splitting head,
I think I'll count it as a warning
And take to drinking lemonade:
That's when it does not need a nice sense
To know that beer would not be missed:
Then down with every dastard license,
I am a prohibitionist.
But if you put me with boon-fellows
Before a pot of good fat ale,
I feel an influence that mellows
And straightway tell another tale.
I am no prohibitionist
In front of beer,
I am a simple egoist—
When there's good cheer.

Sometimes, when Lena's strange caprices
A mere man like myself perplex
And shatter love's young dream to pieces,
I feel at war with all the sex;
She says that she will tell her mother
And she no longer will be kissed,
I tell her that she loves another
And turn a sour misogynist
page 11 But when we have made up our quarrel
And I am hers, she mine again,
I live to point another moral
Of love's sweet blessedness to men.
I am no sour misogynist
With woes to soothe,
I am a simple egoist—
When love runs smooth.

Sometimes, when riding in her motor
Clara de Vere, who rolls in pelf,
Sees and ignores with frigid hauteur
A poor pedestrian like myself,
Oblivious of our introduction,
I feel inclined to shake my fist
And damn the classes to destruction,
I am a bloody anarchist:
But, if she send an invitation
For me to join the grand elite,
Away with all my indignation—
Superiority is sweet.
I am not then an anarchist,
One of the mob,
I am a simple egoist—
A perfect snob.

And so it is right through the chapter,
Whene'er I am dissatisfied
Then any 'ism may be my captor
And nearly every one I've tried,
I've been by turns among the needy
A socialist or communist,
But ne'er a model to the greedy
By acting the philanthropist;
For, when the Fates are more propitious,
Faith in existing things I bless,
My attitude is not seditious—
When I've no grievance to redress.
From protest vain I soon desist,
Why make a fuss?
I am a simple egoist—
Like the most of us.

The Cynic.