An Alliterative Acrostic on Appetite

As I, Although I Ask no Actual Aim,
Before my Bilious Brethren Basely Bow,
Crave I not Cold Comment but Careful Calm,
Dealing with Drastic Days that Dawned ere now.
Egregious English Early Earn and Eat,
French Fogeys Feast on Fried and Fragrant Frog,
Germans the Greasy Goose and Garlic Greet,
Hungarian Hinds Hurrah the Hissing Hog.
If to Internal Industry Inclined,
Jellies and Juicy Jams to Jamboree,
Kaffirs and Khans and all the Kilted Kind
Love Lingering Late and Lading Languidly.
Myself, not Marred by Modern Means and Modes,
No Nagging Needs when Nourishment is Nigh,
Offering Only Ostentatious Odes,
Pealing the Praise of Pork and Pigeon Pie.
Querulous Quacks may Quizz and Quibblers Quake;
Rather to Real Romance let Readers Ride.
Shalt Spurn the Sausage whereof Shakespeare Spake?
Trample The Trusty Tripe that Turner Tried ?
Under an Urge Unique and Uniform,
Vieing with Vulgar Villains Vile and Vain,
What Wealth you'll Win, What Worth, What Welcomes Warm,
X-mas X-orbitance can best X-plain.
Yearly You'll Yearn: may Yule Yet see with You,
Zebus and Zealous Zebras in the Zoo!

—D.J.D.