Waste Paper Basket

"This is your opportunity, O Fresher—the stepping-stone, perhaps, to dizzy heights of fame!" Thus our notice board. What follows constitutes an abuse of opportunity, which we requite by giving it in the form of prose:—

"To me a lively longing came to reach the dizzy heights of fame. So I did sit me down to write a poem—amusing, sprightly, bright, the sort of thing one always writes when one would reach the Dizzy Heights. In vain exams, attention claim: what are percentages to fame? Now if one merely has this knack, in soul's true language (see Prof. Mac.) to send one's thoughts in airy flight, one soon will reach the Dizzy Heights. I pondered then upon a name for this—my offering to fame. Suggestions! Why, a mighty horde came tumbling from the notice board—inspiring sign-post that invites all to aspire to Dizzy Heights. Both Keats and Shakespeare knew the game, and Wordsworth also tasted fame. Prof. with their works sublime and grand would make our sluggish souls expand. And I—I rather would be dumb than so afflict poor souls to come. In charity my soul delights; so I have scorned the Dizzy Heights."

How the study of comparative religions is carried on at the University of Michigan, as described by the "Michigan Daily," the official students' paper:—

"The students will meet for supper and the consideration of Mohammedanism and Buddhism at 6.30 o'clock. Believers in these Oriental faiths will speak of them from affectionate knowledge. Maurine Bauer is a whistling artist of great ability and will assist in the program. Laurett Taylor in 'Peg o' My Heart' will illustrate the religious service at 7.30 o'clock. Bring nothing less than a dime for the collection."

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"The Spike" regards with awe anything appearing to issue from the Science wing. There may be nothing in "Chemistry," but we do not intend to take any chances:—