A Song of Psychology

If you want to get a notion of your "animus" in motion,
Or how to analyse your mental state,
If you'd like to win Affection with the help of Introspection,
Psychology will do it, while you wait.
If Experience uneventful makes you sullen and resentful,
Unable to attain the fond Desire,
You can learn on Application "How to revel in Sensation,"
And a fund of information thus acquire.

With Behaviour energetic and a dash of "Kinaesthetic,"
You can classify whomever you may meet;
And with only Concentration and a knowledge of Vibration,
You can Analyse policemen by the Beat.
You can cultivate Precision in the field of Colour Vision,
Where rouge will often cheat the Normal eye;
And though Opposite Attraction is the commonest Reaction,
You can soon dispel Illusions if you try!

But Objective Observation has a common Application:
Psychologists employ it every day;
Watch your fellows at the table eating all that they are able,
And see the Self-assertion they display!
For a means of locomotion you apply the "Auto"-notion:
With the aid of Self-suggestion you'll be there.
If you're fond of Recreation there is Free Association,
Though the other side would hardly call it fair!

There are certain set restrictions on unjustified predictions
Of the wild and woolly years that lie before.
But the theme of Evolution in our Native Constitution
With Attention you can follow more and more.
You can settle each discussion, whether Rugby, Law, or Russian,
Or Psychologise Emotions, dreams, and crams;
And the only complication that defies an explanation,
Is why we ever fail to pass exams!

—D.J.D.

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