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The Spike: or, Victoria University College Review, September, 1922

The Conversazione

The Conversazione.

And it came to pass that on a day, even in the term called the second, there did assemble the body, that which men called the Council. And the Council did deliberate greatly, and did say, the one unto the other, "Yea! verily! we have builded two wings. Let us therefore declare them open, and even have Jell do this thing." For Jell, he was a great man, verily the highest in the land. And because they did say this thing they did summon Mar before them, and they were constrained to tell these things unto Mar, saying: "Even as we have said, go thou and do this thing."

And when Mar heard what the Council did say, he hearkened unto them. And he did call a solemn conclave of them that were under him. And there did assemble Rob the son of Rob, Mun the son of Ro. also Har, Fen, Kir, Cot, Som. all rulers of the land. And page 43 Mar did say unto them these things, even as he had heard, and he did say unto them that were assembled: "Hearken unto me all ye people and go ye and do even as I have said." And Rob did speak saying: "It is enough. Thy word suffieeth in all things." And the conclave did disassemble, and each of the rulers did go his way in peace saying: "Yea, verily! we will obey thy behests even to the letter."And the rulers did gather together their tribes, saying: "Go thou and do this" to the one, and "Go thou and do that" to the other. And it was so.

And because it was done even as the Council did decree, there did come a time which was the day of Fri when Jell did come, yea verily, even with his Satellites, unto the Halls of Learning. And Jell did stand in the new wing, that which was the Library and did harangue the people with honeyed words, saying many things. And he did say: "Behold! Even do I go forth to see many sights, them which are in the Wing of Science. Therefore it behaves ye to gird up your loins and follow me, and we shall see what we shall see." For Jell he was a good man and did love his flock.

And many and marvellous were the sights that they did see, the number whereof was great beyond computation.

And the people did gaze upon them, admiring, saying: "What is this thing?" Whereupon he that was there, that he might demonstrate did say: "This thing is such and such." And this he would say aloud using words that were strange to the people. For the people they are simple and gullible by nature.

Thus did the darkness pass. And on "the morrow great was the rejoicing among the tribes of the land. For on this day it was decreed that the tribes should scatter, yea! far and wide, and forsake the Halls of Learning, and return unto the roofs of the fathers of Zea. And thus did they go their way rejoicing, saying the one unto the other, "Cheero, laddie! See you next term."

Overheard at the Conversazione.

Visitor from Konini: "What's this sonny?"

Sonny: "This is a model of Mangahao, illustrating, etc."

Visitor: "Good Lord! My Mangahao, how mangled."

First working man to pal: "What's this 'ere, Bill?"

Bill, reading from the programme: "Wireless hexhibit."

First working man: "These 'ere 'Varsity coves Is smart, aint they! I c'n see the bloomin' wires with me own heyes."

First girl to second girl, coming out of spectroscopy room:

"Well! I can't understand what he said, can you Vera?"

Second girl to first girl: "Oh no! But didn't Edward Henry look sweet with all those lovely lights shining on him. And he spoke his piece so nicely, too!"

In Memoriam

Oh! bearken to this pitiful tale
Of one, our only one, female,
All help to us she flat denied—
Site joined the chemists—and there dyed.

Inserted by Conver S. Azione, 18/8/22.