The Spike: or, Victoria University College Review, September, 1922
Science Jottings. — Physicalities
It is now some weeks since our hearts, in fact everyone's hearts, were stirred by the noble and self-sacrificing way our professor dashed up to Taupo to stagger around on the trembling, quivering ground, and erect earthquake apparatus to see if it was true that there were earthquakes up there. At any moment we were expecting to hear that the cold hard ground had opened up and Swallowed our hero; but no—it was not done, not in the best circles anyhow. (Think of the opportunity for scientific research .inside dear old Mother Earth you missed, Prof., you might have seen the earth's magnet!) Meanwhile, although our hearts were sad we kept a bright exterior. It is this philosophical turn of mind that enables us to face adversity of every sort and turn up with the goods, even if the goods are practical physics results. There is no doubt, however, that Taupo is a splendid holiday resort—ask R*g*rs. For information as to the time the train goes and how to know when a quake is coming so that you can put a good ten miles between you and it, see—well—either of them will do.
As good old Newton once remarked, "Action and reaction are equal and opposite," which no doubt accounts for the fact that towards the end of the second term there were but few sparkling witticisms liberated. Everyone ought to hear the prof's one about "mathematicians" though—really it's good! That is to say it was the first time; they all pall more or less after the seventh hearing.
We are pleased to have a visit from Sam occasionally. Eight o'clock is a bit early though, isn't it, Sam?
With the advent of spring, the ubiquitous poet once again wastes ink, this time apologising to Sir W. Scott who wrote the original. It's peculiar, but the ideas of the poem are similar to Sam's. He must have perpetrated it—but no—he is a teacher; still, his looks are long and lank, his brow is weary (apparently). But on with-the dance! Let us break into song.
Wakes there a man with soul so gay,
Who ever to himself doth say:
This is my early lecture morn;
And treating bed and warm'th with scorn,
Has staggered up to College
Whose feet have ne'er upon him froze,
Who got up just because he chose;
No oath when the alarum clock,
With horrid din, his sleep doth mock,
So keen his thirst for knowledge.
Who breakfast any day will spurn,
For heat and light he sure must learn
If such there be—go—mark him well,
Let's give, for him, the College yell.
With all his early rising, which,
They say, will make all young men rich,
This man will get into no rut,
Will, no doubt, he successful—but
We feel that we enjoy life best
Unwashed, unshaved, and yet undressed.
Thank heaven he's got that off his chest! Tut! tut! We also seem to have caught the frightful disease. It is a fact, nevertheless, that one of the greatest pleasures of life is to set an alarm clock before going to bed, and then work a point on it by waking up in time to switch it off before it can go off and wake you up. Then you can go to sleep again and trust in Providence. Sleep would undoubtedly he necessary after the brain fag of evolving an idea like that.
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We are very proud to have amongst us the Captain of the Science team who so badly defeated the Law team at football, in the face of fearful odds—a lawyer referee! Back on the old farm in the vacation, he further added to his laurels by scoring the one and only try for the savage bush tribes of the North in their recent match against the Other Side. The match was another walk over, the Other Side scoring only 25. Well done, Brit!! Congratulations from "the girl with the golden hair."
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Our special correspondent reports that Timothy is still "as you were," and is now able to take tea at the Hostel (W.S. of course).
We are expecting at any time to hear of further investigation into Doppler's Principle; a voice like Timothy's should not be wasted.