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The Spike: or, Victoria University College Review, September, 1922

(1) Auditor of the Basket-ball Club

(1) Auditor of the Basket-ball Club.

Abstracted and bespectacled he arose from behind a mass of papers. He appeared to have been wallowing in figures—columns of figures on innumerable account-sheets, piles of figures on vouchers and cash-books, pages of figures in ledgers and receipt-books, figures scribbled on the blotting-pad, on the morning paper, on the back of envelopes, everywhere; and even very attractive figures in the pictures on the Avails. One was of the Garden of Eden, in which he was, I suppose, the adder.

He was ruminating on these figures all the while he spoke to me—a dry nervous old man wizened with cares and stooping in a methodical kind of way, under his load of responsibilities.

"The books," he whisered confidentially, "have been causing me a deal of anxiety. Not that they are badly kept—not at all; the big girlish handwriting, if not very neat, is certainly extremely legible. But they raise many very difficult questions which I have to clear up before I can grant my certificate. For instance, there's the value of the assets. The chief item is four gym. skirts and three yellow scarves (rather tattered) which the Treasurer values at 3s. 11 ½d. She says that is the sale price at Kirk's. I think, however, I should put them down at 4s. 5d., because the sale finished the day before the Club's financial year.

"Then the Treasurer spent 4d. on postage stamps and failed to get a receipt for it. How can I be expected to certify that the money was really expended? And, if I refuse to certify, can I permit her to pay 4d. into the bank account, and call the matter square? You will appreciate the difficulties that beset the matter. Now in the leading case of Brook v. Mason," he turned towards his book-shelves,"the judges decided by two to one—"

But I am a law student, and dislike authorities. Before he turned round again I had glided from the room.