The Procession.

The Procession in connection with the Capping Carnival was held on Friday, May 13th.

As might have been expected from the day and the date, the elements were against us; but in spite of it all, the procession proved to be an unqualified success.

No doubt the actual participators themselves enjoyed the fun more than the spectators, and the Carlton Hall, before the appointed time of starting, presented an indescribable scene of animation, niggers, fairies, parsons, vampires all intermingling, and each one attempting to surpass his neighbour in beauty or in hideousness.

The procession moved off at about 3.15.and proceeded through the main streets of the city. The light immediately became dull—dark, black, ominous clouds rolled along, and a short while after starting the rain came down mercilessly. But the heroes, heeded it not. It was a case of "on with the procession," and, as the lady onlookers will testify, "joy was unconfined."

The procession was headed by the mayoral party, accompanied by two representatives of the City Council. Some say that the Skipper looked more like a "nightmare" than the "Wright mayor." Then followed a striking display of various original tableaux,—so striking that, in the face of the gale, they struck completely and refused to hold together.

One of the difficulties of regulating the procession lay in the fact that the motor-car at the head went too quickly for the horses in the rear. Consequently, the procession had to halt at intervals. For example, it halted at the "Albert," the "Windsor;" and it halted at the "Grand" (a truly grand halt); and although it was no doubt accidental, it also halted at the "Occidental."

The boys were by this time completely warmed up (?) to their work, and it would have taken something more than the rain to have damped their "spirits."

In the Post Office Square the Mayor eloquently addressed the crowd that had gathered, and exhorted them to roll up to the Xtravaganza on the next night. They did, too!

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The stunts carried out on the return journey were many and varied. Maoris shrieked and hakaed; fairies flitted gracefully in the sunshine (?); ministers sealed the bonds of matrimony with an utter disregard of their responsibility; and the Bolshies destroyed everything that came in their way.

By the time Courtenay Place was reached, everybody agreed that they had had enough, and the general feeling was: "I must be goin' 'ome now."

The gathering accordingly broke up in disorder.

Capping Ceremony.

The Capping Ceremony was held, as usual, in the Concert Chamber, on May 12th. The surprising feature of the affair was the subdued, almost funereal (that is, comparatively speaking) nature of the proceedings, which seemed rather to surprise the speakers. The interjections were mainly of the customary stupid variety, but were, on the whole, few in number. The choruses were sung better than they were last year. Mr. Levi opened the oratorical part of the proceedings with some long and inaudible remarks which were, no doubt, deeply interesting. Mr. C. J. Parr, the celebrity chosen for the afternoon, spoke his piece, in which he made some quite daring and progressive statements. He then shook with becoming fervour the hands of an infinity of graduates, and even condescended benevolently to pat some blessed ones on the back. Parr, thy smile was in itself an education! Prof. Hunter put in an appeal for residential colleges, and once more defied the Chancellor over something or other. During his speech the audience was scandalised by the horrid sight of one Murphy asleep in an attitude of well-earned but bored repose. We then went home.

The Ball.

Youth, beauty, music, laughter, a starry night—gods! The ball was held in the Town Hall. The decoration, which some might say was meagre, we prefer to call chastely effective. We hesitate to describe the—ah—frocking—the large quantity (in toto) of ninon and chiffon and net and gauze and jazzy scarfs and such-like fal-lals, and all that sort of thing, which graced the femininity present. We can only say they all looked charming and behaved with that seductive decorum which has always been the high tradition of V.U.C. Owing to the concert chamber being unavailable, supper (when at last one arrived at it) was hardly the breathlessly-exciting function it. has been. Personally we waited, supporting a fainting partner and assailed by the most unutterable pangs, for one and a-half hours, at the end of which we found the sandwiches all gone. We think that labouring under the most immense difficulties as they were the managers might have done better than this. However, we have no wish to be unpleasant—we accuse none; we cavil not; we merely state. And it was really a very good dance, and, thank God! undisfigured with any of those crude concatenations of a debased humanity—jazz effects.

But why that stern, unbending look, O C. Q. P.—that ramrod back and furrowed brow? Come, come, dear boy! Take your pleasures not so seriously! Give a more care-free abandon to the charms of Terpsichore—woo the muse more madly!

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Undergraduates' Supper.

After the Saturday performance of the Extravaganza, a disorganised and extremely cheerful rabble proceeded to the Marble Bar, where they clamoured for admittance. This being granted in the interests of law and order, they wiped up all the eatables in view (not much, to be sure!), sang a large quantity of the usual songs, jazzed, one-stepped, stood on the tables, broke the crockery, watered the pot-plants, and were finally turned out early on Sunday morning. A joyful two-and-sixpence worth, my brothers!

Luncheon.

This was another half-crown show, held in the Farmers' Institute Council Room, where the food allowance was very—extremely—meagre, and where one had not even the satisfaction of smashing the plates. Instead, one spent one's spare time in opening innumerable bottles of non-alcoholic beverages with a pair of scissors, while listening to the witty, weighty, and mutually-admiring remarks of the various speakers. The chairman, Mr. A. Fair, started of' with great good humour. Mr. P. B. Broad replied on behalf of the new graduates; Mr. P. Levi spoke for the College Council (and this time we managed to hear him); Mr. P. Martin-Smith made some characteristic remarks, referring to the College as a whole ("And who could wish for a Better 'Ole?"—Prof. Kirk). Mr. Tonkin appealed for more (very necessary) support for "The Spike;" Mr. de la Mare, smiling as always, added his cheerful quota to the conversation; and Prof. Hunter concluded with prophesyings of changes to come in University government; and we think that's all. Apologies to anyone left out! We suggest that in future all speeches, confined though they be to five minutes, be kept till the end of the luncheon, to allow one a few consecutive moments to devote to one's plate. After the usual toasts had been drunk and the usual songs sung, the gathering broke up and we departed from that genial atmosphere into the wind and rain.

Extravaganza.

In letting one's mind stroll pleasantly back over the night at the Extravaganza, and rest in peaceful contemplation over it, one's impressions fall easily into three groups. In the first place the production itself was good—exceedingly good—even in comparison with the best of the extravaganzas of past times. There was plenty of colour and brightness. The leggy first act was a genuine joy Obviously great efforts had been made in the training of the actors and chorus, and the result was pleasing. Too much praise, indeed, cannot be given to Mr. Evans and Miss Richmond. Undoubtedly the honours of the evening lay with them, and if the Students' Association is wise it will grapple them to its soul with hooks of steel, for the greater glory of future years.

As regards the acting, this year the Association was fortunate in having the services once more of Chas. Gramble of happy memory, and A. J. Mazengarb. Bert Egley was another survivor happily captured from the past. So far as I can recollect, this was the first appearance of Mr. P. J. Smith, and he was a genuine find. Both page 28 in the first and third act, Mr. Smith was in his element. I enjoyed him even when he forced upon an unwilling Russian an Irish brogue that one could easily have carved with a blunt shillelagh—if that is how the confounded word is spelt! Without singling out any particular individual for criticism, a. word might be said with profit on the necessity, in a theatre so large as the Opera House, of speaking at any rate in a tone louder than that in which one retails to a bosom friend the latest raciest story. Even when quite close to the stage, a difficulty was experienced in catching much of the dialogue. In the third act, not one word could be distinguished in the songs of Messrs. Pringle and Rishworth. Miss Willcocks and Miss Wilson acted well together in the first act, and were ably assisted by Miss Cameron. I am not acquainted with Mr. Theo. Tresize, and am therefore not in a position really to judge Mr. Free's representation as a parody; but judging from the enthusiasm of the audience, his performance must have been excellent. In the second act, it was pleasant to see our old friend Mr. Eichelbaum on the stage once more. In Miss Milesi and Miss Bailey the committee had made another happy choice. May one see more of them in future years! The third act was remarkable for the most truly striking explosion seen on the stage for many a long time. It paralysed not only the actors, but many of the audience.

One of the features of the Extravaganza most appreciated by the audience during the evening were the songs of Mr. Evans and Miss Pigou. These, and one of Mr. Mazengarb's songs, were specially composed by Mr. Stainton, and their catchy music contributed largely to the success of the piece. The fourth act was undoubtedly the most successful of the four. Finally, a word as to the play itself. Frankly, I must confess to disappointment. I have a copy of the play before me as I write, and I am inevitably forced to the conclusion that the authors, in attempting too much, achieved too little. It misses; it halts when it should gallop; it is weak, when there was every opportunity for strength. The authors have seized on four ideas, waved their hands in the air, and, apparently, sat back, expecting the finished work to emerge from airy nothing. I think that, without exception, every extravaganza hitherto produced has been the work of those who have had some practical experience on 'the stage—or at any rate have assisted in the staging of a capping play. Perhaps that may account for the failure this year on the part of the authors really to have made a genuine success of their play, qua play. Let me make my meaning perfectly clear. The production was a success—real, undoubted, and deserved; but it was a success due to the producer, not to the author. It was bright and entertaining and amusing; but how the Dickens could it be otherwise, when one considers the bright, entertaining, and amusing gels, damme! by whom it was presented?

Mr. Henry Arthur Jones may be right in saying that a play is written not for the study but for the stage, and must be judged by its success thereon; nevertheless, one can assert, without fear of contradiction, that the play which will not stand examination will vanish very quickly into the night of time. That, I am afraid, is the fate of "Done to Death." In their preface the authors state: "Under the frivolity of our extravaganza is deeply hidden a philosophic germ." It was indeed, too deeply!