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The Spike: or, Victoria University College Review, October 1916

Answers-to-Correspondents

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Answers-to-Correspondents.

Men standing in a row

Great-great-grandfather: (1) Undoubtedly 267 employees could be paid their wages in five minutes in a space of four dimensions. But do not worry; you did very well and will very likely do better when you become accustomed to appearing in public. (2) You display incomparable sagacity in declining to adopt "Get German Goods" as a motto.

Prof. Br--n: You mention that she changed her dress. It was probably a case of "protective colouring." Consult Prof. Kirk on the theory of evolution. A practical solution would be to hold a dress-parade before lectures.

L. J. Ed--n-s-n: Yes, we consider that it was hardly fair; but, as he said, when you do come to use a razor you will find that it is not improved by being used for manicure purposes.

Rev. B. H. W--d: We are of the opinion that fainting in the library should be sternly discountenanced. Possibly the ghostly silence of that eerie spot had something to do with it. Don't forget the Anti-shouting laws.

Prof. H - nt - r: "The purpose of ethics is to enable one to know a good man when one sees him." we are no longer at a loss to account for the predominance of women students in that branch of philosophy.

Prof. K - - k: Hints to Senior Biology Students. "Though the closeness of the condenser burners does not seem to have any effect on your heads there is a noticeable effect on other woodwork." We accept your explanation that this "hint" was for medical students only.

T. M. W-lf-fd: Chairman of Plunket Medal Judges. Heard but not understood—"Gilbert was standing on the footsteps of his Ciub." Now, quite frankly, what about the preparation of this impromptu?

Prof. McK—-ie: No, we cannot publish statistics showing Professorial attendances at College functions. "Your shocking example might lead some of the young Professors astray. G. T. S-k-r: Sorry we are unable to solve your problem, Who am I?" Suggest applying to Society for Protection of Orphans.

Prof G-rr-w: We don't publish a market report but have drawn the attention of the Criminal Law Class to what you said about the fall in eggs.

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R. Y. K-y: The answer to your problem (If one student makes a Working Bee, how many make a Tennis Party?) depends entirely on the type of student.

G.G.S.R-b-s-n,: Rather, the use of the expression—"My oath"—is most reprehensible. Probably he doesn't know the meaning of it. Do you? Yes, we think that if any (Tub Secretary should so far forget himself as to use the expression—"Well I'm —"—you would be quite justified in removing the offending notice.

Prof. E-st-r—d. We are not prepared to dispute the point. It may be a matter of taste, whether arsenic is a mineral or not, but under the circumstances we would prefer that it should be your taste rather than ours.

W. Str-wb - - ge. We do not fancy that dramatic verse can be much in your line. Why not try a simple lyric? However, we are so grateful for receiving any contributions from students, that we print here two excerpts. We suggest that you should avoid the personal note in future contributions.

Strawbridge (solo):—

"When Strawbridge sings
Above the engine's
roar, The soul of melody enchantingly doth soar:
When Strawbridge sings.

The lathe takes on a duller note,
The motors then more smoothly mot
While up aloft the chemists gloat
When Strawbridge sings"

Chorus of Chemistry Students off stage—

"O, for a harp, a flute, a lyre,
A spade, a pick, or gun entire
That we might vent our bursting ire
When Straw bridge sings.
But feudal days are now no more:
We cannot steep our hands in gore—
We'll just send water through the floor,
When Strawbridge sings."