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The Spike or Victoria University College Review October 1915

A Review and a Suggestion

page 33

A Review and a Suggestion.

We have been handed for review a pamphlet entitled, "Rules for the Work of the English Classes in the University of Otago." We have found the perusal of this work very interesting indeed. We make from it, the following extracts:—

"Write your answers in black ink, and one side of the paper only.

"Do not write in the margin.

"Number your answers. It is safer also to number your pages; but, if you arrange them in con secutive order, that will be sufficient.

"When you pass from one aspect of a subject to another, indicate that you do so by leaving a space of about half a line.

"Questions will not be answered after the first ten minutes of the examination, as such a practice is very distracting to candidates.

"In order that students may see that their work is done in proper order, they may bring this Book of Rules to the examination room for consultation."

From the chapter headed "Hints in regard to Examinations," we gather the impression that the author is a shrewd gentleman, well acquainted with the doings of candidates. His advice is—"Never insert irrelevant matter in an Examination Paper. Some examiners deduct marks for irrelevant matter . . . in addition, such a practice makes an examiner suspicious." True, very true!

Three very neat definitions are given. They are—

"Accuracy—No blunders."

"Fulness—Nothing essential omitted."

"Relevance—Nothing put in unless it is asked for."

There is an interesting passage on "annotating," in which we are told that "annotating and paraphrasing are altogether different exercises." Nor has the careful author omitted to include a model for the outside page of page 34 essays. There are two highly instructive passages dealing with "Absence from Classes" and "Class Rules." But, in our opinion, the gem of this valuable work is to be found in the all too brief chapter headed "Penalties." From this we learn that the hapless student is liable to incur the following penalties:—

"For writing on both sides—5 marks."

"Sheet or answer out of order—5 marks."

"Wrong bench—2 marks."

"Unattached page—2 marks."

"No name given—2 marks."

Etc., Etc.

We have been so impressed by this pamphlet that we are moved to suggest the addition of the following rules, which we feel sure the author will welcome:—
(1)There will be merry Hades to pay if candidates are copped (or should it be 'copt') talking in the examination room.
(2)Avoid the unnecessarily ornate. You gain nothing by referring to a man as a "galoot" or a "mugwump," when the simple expression "a balmy bloke" would do.
(3)On no account leave blots on your paper. Such a practice makes the examiner think you have spilt ink.
(4)Avoid Americanisms. In particular, never refer to a young lady as "some kid."
(5)Metaphors judiciously used are very effective, but care should be exercised in their use. Thus one should not speak of "wrapping" oneself around a sandwich," nor should one invite another to "mop up" a long shandy.
(6)"Damn" and "dam" are altogether different words. Their use is illustrated thus: "Well, I'm damned," you may rightly say when you enter the examination room. On the other hand, the expression, "Well I'm dammed" can only properly be used at 10 o'clock in the evening.
(7)If you write answers on luncheon paper—God help you!page 35
(8)The expression "What ho! she bumps!" is not now accounted good English, and its use is deprecated.
(9)In writing essays on Shakesperean subjects, students should exercise due care in the choice of expletives. Thus, "Zounds," "By me Halidome," "Odd's fish," and "God Wot," are permissible. On the other hand, "'Struth!" and "'strousers" have not yet received the hall-mark of academic approval.
(10)In the event of a shortage of pens, students should not use a blunt skewer, but recourse may be had to the use of a dead fly at the end of a knitting needle. N.B.—Care should be taken in such a case to see that the fly is dead.