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The Spike: or, Victoria College Review, June 1915

Minutes of Meeting of the Professorial Board held at Victoria College, on Friday, 16th April, at 2 p.m

page 44

Minutes of Meeting of the Professorial Board held at Victoria College, on Friday, 16th April, at 2 p.m.

Present:—Professor Adamson in the chair and all members. The chairman called on the Registrar to read the minutes of the previous meeting. Professor Hunter immediately rose to object. He stated that the Board was absolutely behind the times. Why had it not fol-lowed the action of the Petone Borough Council (a most up-to-date body) and had its minutes printed. The present procedure was a waste of time. He moved that for the future the minutes be printed, and copies thereof he delivered to members before each meeting.

The Chairman—"Any seconder to the Motion?"

The Chairman was about to declare that the motion lapsed for want of a seconder, when Professor Brown was heard to say, that though he had grave doubts, was conceivable that good might result from such a reform, and he would second the motion "pro forma."

The Chairman then invited discussion on the motion, but said that he felt it was his bounden duty to draw Professor Brown's attention to the fact that this was the 37th consecutive motion which that gentleman had had grave doubts about. Professor Brown commenced to quote from the "Regulae Ulpiani," when the Chairman was seen to become very uneasy, and he finally informed Professor Blown that he could not allow him to proceed further, as he had already spoken once to the motion.

At this stage, Professor Garrow rose to make a suggestion. He likened the proposed reform to the Hope men always set their hearts on. Such a hope was to be encouraged. It would be a good thing, he thought, to Hunter. All present immediately rose to their feet and seized the object handiest to them. The Chairman, however, quelled the disturbance, and one by one the irate professors resumed their seats, Professor Easterfield remarking that is was intolerable, arid that if page 45 Garrow made any more of his infernal puns he would resign. The Chairman said the scene was deplorable, and would impress the new members of the Board very unfavourably. Professor Marsden said, "Not at all. It reminds me of the Manchester O.T.C."

Continuing the discussion, Mr. F. P. Wilson remarked that the question should be considered in its economic aspect. Professor Hunter interjected—"Shop." Mr. Wilson angrily replied, "You shut up, Shorty." Great confusion resulted, the noise being silenced finally by Professor Mackenzie remarking that "a man's a man for a' that." Everyone agreed with this, and Professor Kirk was heard to murmur that he had heard a delightful little story which—but here the Chairman interfered. He said he must request Professor Kirk to make his remarks relevant, and he did not think that Professor Kirk's story was one that should be told before Mr. Barton, who was very young. Mr. Barton here said, "Don't you worry about me, Adamson, I know a thing or two. I joined the C.U. this year." Professor Garrow interjected "Why did they C.U.?" Wisely, however, none paid any attention to this, and Professor Garrow subsided again. After a few minutes Professor Sommerville rose to his feet, and said that he personally could not entirely sympathise with the motion. The waste of time he could mathematically demonstrate was next to nothing. Who felt it?

Professor Garrow, "Easter feeled it."

This was the last straw. As one man the professors rose to their feet and descended upon the unlucky jester, and the meeting broke up in hopeless confusion, Professor Hunter lamenting that the same old waste of time would go on indefinitely.