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The Heretics.

(With apologies to Bunthorne).

The drum beats loud and long!
Come forth, ye cits., and see
The Heretic throng, a thousand strong,
At their corroboree.
Conceive them, if you can,
A bold, outspoken clan,
A very pugnacious, disputatious,
Anti-conforming clan.

The Patron rates the times
In high words, passion-sped,
That shake the old Post Office chimes,
And fulmine o'er N.Z.
Conceive him, if you can,
A most imposing man,
An Ultima Thule-ry, no tomfoolery,
Anti-tobacco man.

The President then strikes in;
And a keen, keen blade hath he,
That splits the skull of a Philistine
As one might split a pea.
Conceive him, if you can,
A cool, sarcastic man,
A French-cum-German-y, Hang a long sermon-y,
Anti-priori man.

A Hebraist, the next.
See in how staunch a way
He quarters Genesis. text by text,
In search of E. and J.
Conceive him, if you can,
A cloak'd, mysterious man,
An ex-tutorial, non-tonsorial,
Anti-Mosaic man.

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Then one, though he has no doubt
Some Biblical tales are true,
Damns the Old Testament out and out,
And doesn't think much of the New.
Conceive him, if you can,
A bluff St. Andrew's man,
A top-dog-hating, parson-baiting,
Anti-Barabbas man.

Another comes talking big
Of Professorial skill:
The farmer alone who has fed the pig
Knows when he's fit to kill.
Conceive him, if you can,
An up-to-date young man,
A Pol. Economical, one whom they Tommy call,
Anti-Outsider man.

A lady, too, would teach
World-weary wanderers how
By Buddha's golden Path we reach
Niravana, here and now.
Conceive her, if you can,
A fair Blavatsky-an,
A Self-attaining, astral-planning,
Mystical Super-man.

Conceive them, if you can,
A contumacious clan,
A very polemical, unacademical,
Anit-Dark Ages clan.

—F.