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Answers to Correspondents

G. M. Cl-gh-rn.—Your didactic poem on "How to Win a Tennis Championship" is of no value to us. The poetry is—well, we should be doing you an injustice if we advised you to try again. We quote lines 715 and 716 to show that we are unprejudiced—

"If Jennings had only broken his leg.

The winner might, possibly have been Cleg."

Po-f-ss-r P-ek-n.—We are unable to read your letter. Neatness and tidiness have a practical, as well as an aesthetic value. The Spike firmly declines to publish anything that is not both legible and intelligible.

Pr-f-ss-r M-K-nz-e.—Your letter advocating the holding of literary competitions to hand. We are pleased to discover that you are interested in English literature.

G C. Jackson.—No, the Spike has no connection with "The Squib." Inquire at the Hostel.

G. Daniel.—We are sorry that we cannot offer you employment. The Spike already has two talking machines.

J. L. Sh - - t.—We sympathise with you. It is scarcely fair of Nicholls, West, Wright and Broad to do all the talking at the meetings of the Students' Ass. Committee. What's the good of being Chairman, anyway, if one can't get a word in edgeways?

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F. K-lly—Sorry your alarm clock is out of order; besides, Majoribanks Street is such a long way from V.C. Try baking powder—or blasting powder—cures the most stubborn cases.

R-v. W-rd.—In our opinion it is merely a case of the old adage: "A noisy noise annoys an oyster." However, we are ready to admit that there are some girls who would be a nuisance in any library.

Pr-f-ss-r G rr-w.—Re your "Statements of deceased persons." we don't believe a word of it, and would remind you that dead men tell no tales.

T. N. H-lmd-n.—The quotation from the "Wanganui Collegian" to which you refer reads as follows:—"Divinity: Archdeacon William's Prize: Upper School: N. F. E. Robertshnwe. Prox access T. N. Holmdrn." As you say, it was hard luck, after attending chapel regularly and specialising in the subject for a whole year. Try again, Trevor.

A. S - - vwr-ght.—Yes, on a strictly amateur basis: No training, no pay.

F. H-ll-J-n-s, J. R-chm-nd.—We don't print testimonials. Write direct to the head office, Capilla.