The Procession.

This year marked an innovation in our Capping Carnivals. For several weeks a band o enthusiasts devoted their time and energies to the preparation of such a students' procession as those which for some yours have marked Diploma Day at our sister Colleges. Weird structures began to take shape at the rear of the College, and on the day appointed, a strange and motley assembly foregathered on Cleburne Parade. Mohammed and Mephistopheles rubbed shoulders in the front of the procession, and the way being cleared by an Indian Chief and a mounted policeman, strange, indeed, was the crew that followed. The strains of the Kilties Band would have roused the blood of any loyal Scotchman (or anyone else's for that matter).and the Drum-major was the envy of all the small boys, and the admiration of all the nursemaids in the city. A group of Territorials (as they ought to be). With uniforms almost as varied as those of a volunteer battalion, preceded a stalwart group of Maoris entrenched in the State coal wagon, jumping down at intervals and dancing realistic hakas. Hard upon their prehistoric heels came a many-footed dragon, of wobbly gait. Pugilists found a Jeffries-Johnson contest in full swing, in which, however, the verbal knocks that actual fighting. A Salvation Army Biorama was recording every blow, but the operators were once compelled to defend themselves from outraged members of the real Salvation Army, who were not in the procession. The operations performed by a gang of budding surgeons upon a suffering local body presented all the most gruesome aspects of the operation theatre, and were marked by the frequency and freedom with which they were performed. The coolness and complacency of the charming nurse (her name we cannot tell) were the subject of much comment on the part of the admiring public. A bride with a magnificent Chanticleer hat of Brobinagian proportion excited the envy of the female sex. The Chief Justice (smoking !!!), Dr. Gibb, Re v. J.J. North, the Henry-Potts Mission, and a host of other notables added to the representative character of the page 34 procession. We had, however, nearly forgotten one item which excited great amount of speculation on the part of the crowd, and that was a draped figure bearing some resemblance to picture of Lot's wife we once saw in an illustrated volume of "Pilgrim's Progress. "Some considered that it was symbolical of one of our chief industries, the frozen mutton trade, but were quite wrong, for it was none other than the shade of Napoleon Bonaparte, who, deigning to forego his annual appearance on the platform at the Plunket Medal Competitions, where he has been a source of perennial amusement, mounted a ward to participating in next year's procession.

The motley array wound its way through the principal streets, stopping in the Post office Square, where a speech appropriate to the occasion was delivered by "Sir Joseph Ward" dressed in the Windsor uniform, which is so inseparable from State occasions. Altogether the new departure proved a success, and we are all looking forward to participating in next year's procession.

The Capping Ceremony.

At the last November examinations, Victoria College had again the honour of heading the degree lists for New Zealand. Over three dozen successful graduates received their diplomas at the last capping ceremony. This function was held, as usual, in the Concert Chamber of the Town Hall, in the presence of a large gathering of citizens. By the irony of fate, the platform, with the Chancellor, the Professors, and the members of the Senate, was surrounded by a large hoarding dilating upon the wicked joys of "White Cub" cigarettes and various tobaccos. The Chancellor's speech was listened to for a quarter of an hour by the students, and then as a protest they left the hall. The effect of their action was, however, somewhat marred by the eagerness of some of the public who had previously been unable to obtain an entrance, and who now flocked to the turned the tables on the students at the close of proceedings by thanking them for their courtesy in giving their seats to the general public. His Excellency the Governor made a short speech, excellently delivered. And entirely in sympathy with the University ideals. The most entertaining effort of the afternoon was the "aeroplane" flight of Mr. von page 35 Haast into the "aerial regions" of oratory, which educed the conundrum : "Why is von Haast like the College carpenter ?" "Because he's always soaring." Professor Laby (our latest "addition") broke an indignant lance in refutation of several of the Chancellor's contention, and lent quit a contentious air to the otherwise placid proceedings. D. S. Smith, as the representative of the students, addressed the meeting, emphasizing the necessity for the provision of an adequate library for the College and the advisability of choosing the Rhodes scholar at an earlier age than is at present the case.

The Carnival.

This year's Capping Carnival, held on Thursday and Friday, June 30th and July 1, was in no degree inferior to its predecessors. The capping songs themselves, although they may, from the point of view of wit, have fallen below the average level of some previous Carnivals, fully made up for this deficiency by the brightness of the tunes to which they had been set. The Glee gave a few items, including the "Soldier's Chorus" form "Faust," and astonished everyone by the great improvement they showed in their performances. Miss Strack sang Ardit's "Rosebuds," whilst Dr. D. N. Isaacs excelled himself in his realistic rendering of "A Melodrama: in Five Acts and Fifteen Scenes." But probably the best appreciated item of the first half of the programme was J. D. Smith's natural and amusing rendering of the topical song, entitled "Smoking."

The extravaganza, which was entitled "The bended Bow," was composed by an industrious band of students—Miss E. Fell, and Messrs. A. Bogle, G. M. Nicholls, S. Eichelbaum, F. A. de la Mare, and G. H. Nicholls. The first tableau showed how the calls to arms was obeyed in the time of the ancient Britons. "Three ancient" ladies, representing the Peace Society, of the existence of which among the Druids we were heretofore all quite ignorant, gained the applause of the audience by their quaint incongruity, and pleased the feminine portion in particular by the originality of their costumes. In the next tableau representing the call to arms in Roman days, L. P. Leary scored a great success in the Praetor's Song. The third tableau portrayed the arrival of dashing Captain page 36 Cook in these islands, and was enlivened by one of those splendid hakes which are such established features of our Carnivals. The last tableau contained an impressive allegorical representation of the response of the Dominions to Britain's call for assistance, and concluded with an amusing burlesque of modern militarism:

"And the world must bend the Knee
To the famous O.T.C.,
The last and finest product of the state."

On the second evening, as usual, the annual capping dance was held after the performance.

The Undergraduates' Supper.

"Wit and geniality for 'smart' young people are supposed to consist in smashing dishes and glasses and in bombarding each other with the remains of the dinner."—Gleichen-Russwrurm—"European 'Society.'"

If the above words be true, this function proved that the smart young people in the ranks of Victoria College under—graduates are in no degree lacking in wit and geniality. The supper, which ought of have afforded an opportunity for a pleasant interchange of undergraduate good-feeling, culminated in aimless confusion and the speakers were subjected to a persistent bombardment with sugar and cakes. The gathering showed a lack of organization on the part of the committee, and good taste on the part of many of the students.

There seems no reason why the Students Association should not arrange in future that all the undergraduates (who, after all, from the main body of the students), should be welcomed at the graduates' supper as in time past. It seems to us that the idea underlying the function is that the whole College, and not merely the executive, should entertain and honor the graduates of the year, and in order to do this effectively they should meet together in one hall, and in one body.