The Spike: or, Victoria College Review, October 1909
Letter to the Editor
Letter to the Editor.
When Japan office boy arrive at Willington for studying law and many other articles to become K. C. and disprove his brain all over, he are anxious in knowledge of sundry facts of students life &c., and yearningly want to. Henceforth I write to inform myself from you around everything, thank you.
Firstly what for are the training corpse of Officers, that goes by beere and zedlitz powder for firings. Oh say it! Are it youthsful ornymental? O magnifsent allies of Japan Emperor! despicable yellow boyhood of peril salutes you and begs not to do so! What say Hon. Jas. Ogg? He say," embrace Christianity," and so I gone to Y.M.C.A. to play baskit-ball and lodge with Hon. Jerry Danyell in his den. Surely this penalty are sufficate, speciously after weighty poll-tax! Not so, cause when I gone to dispense fees, acquired to pay great fine to Hon. Powles after lateness. Are it fair, Sir Editor, to dispose twin taxes on poor Assiatic boy? Why let not Hon. Eichelbaum set test paper in English and Scottish and give Japanese chance of getting past of 3rd. class of Hon. Mackenzie? What say antique capping song of latter year? All are welcome but Celestials! but thy slave are not heavenly by no mean, he belong to Christian Onion, also to Common Men's Club.
Afterwards, Mr., who do recent Gymnasium prolong to? For students or otherwise? Ate Hon. Bogle so very naughty gentleman if College Council won't allow abruption of morals by card playing? I await a response, but Hon. Echo has got it. Do Council imaginate steaks become to high this worm whether? It are a not just thing in such democratic country that people are not aloud to play gentleman. Lucky that custodian have plenty gas, espiciously on Debated Society nights, for if he had places of fire what to do if Poker not permitted? Thus you seen what great calamity of be enjoyed if all Council had been two hasty.
Yesterday I converse with Hon. Kuku, what deployed for desistent librarian by reading lawful books all day and night-time." Silence please!" he contort with expression of deep glum." not to abrupt Hon. Cleghorn and gentlemens page 31 in their Greece." I contend not to have notice, and presume,"Because always go to Kirk." "Gay dogs," he reciprocate," but then the dog of College are always a very spirituous mammal, speciously after defunction at hands of Hon. Kirk's choleraform box." I donate grievous teadrop to memory of late O-Fido, what never return to months ago, and quicken to change of subject.
Once lately spasm of divine insaneness inspire itself to me just like to Hon. Soforth Mackenzie; therefore listen to this dear poem, what will sound very sweet when each line got a rhyme.
O college on top of clay bank!
Banzai! Banzai! Banzai!
You might be beautiful if
Thou looked better.
But weight till they have finish the new wing at back.
You hast many clubs famous
Such as footbawl, knocky, cricket,
Also societies &c.
Sacred and profane, ancient and modern.
There are also a club of Common Mens Rooms
What has give a whole
Entertainment this term
For sake of ladies. Price one and threepence.
Banzai! Banzai! Banzai!
Other things full of niceness are sox.
Hon. Johston at Hossel
Have pair with brilliancy.
Conferring design of wicked hoarse race.
Age they tattered sells?
Ask Hon. J. J. North. If so, why not? Banzai!
After now, Mr. Editor, I confiscate going in for MacMillan brown prize for poem on death Cap. Cook. Prematurely I require to know, are it Hon. Cap. Cook of famous College knocky team that have undergone a sharmpionchip? Have this gentleman dyed by shock of doing so, or are it poem only for late Cook of Nancy bring what uncovered N. Zealand? What he done to reserve such treatment?
Talk of deadness rises other question. Formally in this Umpire City a medium man come along, and make great reports in the dark. I repare hither in speed to that gost-office for wonderful sea-aunts, price £2 2s 0d or money refunded. Hon. page 32 Bally experience fine frensy in which deliciously aggravated by songing "Bill Baley" and sich-like monodies. First come lecture by Hon. Prof. Denting just like Hon. Morry only more so.
While sleeping I suddenly stopped it; Hon. Abdull in charge and compromise lively report. So Hon. Bally enjoy considerable epilepsy and when lights became again suddenly it are found he got a rat.
"Why not induce shampionchip cup for Victorious College footbawl club? "I decry with force."Foolish child," rotate Hon. Chairman," them diseased gentle mans refute to act impossibilities," I get shocky sensation of such news;" but are it absoballylutely unpossible? "I renig."Indeedly so," he say," but next weak Hon. Duncan receive repcap."
With this large consolation I gone home and enjoyed nice bright nightmayor; I put tipples of my fingers on table feeling for matches when it rase up and decline on to my tow. For remainder of night I care for lamplight more than sleeping, Which I no could, thank you.
When I are deseased, Mr. Editor, I should like to be permitted to be entirely so; I not crave to join Funiture Movers' Union in after life as I got weak spine.
Hopping you are the same, Hashimura Niki.page 33 page 34