Ineptiae.

While I slumbered, swot encumbered, as I tossed my restless head
Came a vision, fields Elysian, filled with spirits of the dead;
Souls immortal, filled the portal, not in human shape they moved,
It was clearly, but the theory, of the great Pythag'ras proved.
'Twas a jumble, rough and tumble, but the animals down there,
Held a meeting, worth repeating, and a Frog was in the chair.
Frog. "We have met, my fellow creatures, but for what I do not know;
Just to air our fine orations, just to croak and bleat and crow,
And although they're wrong, my rulings, you will surely let them go."
Parrot. "Hear, hear, let' er go."
Mole. "I am a mole, come out of my hole, to raise points of order at will
Say what you may, no chair I'll obey, nor creep to my home 'neath the hill."
Parrot. "Ha! ha! that's the insurmountable Hill.
Monkey. "On the rustling branch, on the green tree-top,
I swing my swing, and I drop my drop,
And so long as I have a growing limb
I'm blowed if I see the need of a gym."
Hobbledehoy. "Give me the game with the leather, tell me of no other game,
Summer or Winter the weather, raining or shining, the same,
Be the ball hard or pneumatic, play it with hit or with kick,
Laud ye with praises emphatic, the game with the foot or the stick.
Hang the walls round with your blazers, show out your shields in the hall,
Scorn on the ignorant gazers, who've never chased leather at all."
Parrot. "Ay, ay, what animal is this ?"
Frog. "Some say he's an eagle, with eyes all a'ogle,
page 61 But take it from me he's a species of bogle."
Bookworm. "I waste no time in idle sport,
For art is long and life is short,
And yet 'tis very sad to see,
How few are here that follow me."
Butterfly. "Dancing, dancing, eyes a glancing,
Keeping time in rythmic sway,
Swinging, swinging, gaily flinging,
All but joyous thoughts away.
Wheeling, wheeling, madly reeling,
In the bright tempestuous tide
Yearning, yearning, who'd sit learning,
By his lonely fire-side!"
Carp. "This fly is out of order."
Frog. "Carp, subside, I must implore thee, he is arguing a priori."
Carp. "If you think that you are sharper,
I, a carp, shall prove a carper.
So I move 'tis only fair,
That the Frog should leave the chair."
Morepork. "Shame upon you, shame upon you,"
All. "Shame! Shame! Shame!"
Just then Cerb'rus, rather nervous, said he couldn't brook the row,
Fell to eating, of that meeting, and that meeting non est now.