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The Spike or Victoria College Review, June 1905

Epistola Ad Priscum Senatum

Epistola Ad Priscum Senatum.

[she perpetrator of the following lines seems somewhat overwhelmed by the magnitude of the task confronting him this year, and has sought consolation in rhyme. The Editors beg leave to announce that they do not necessarily agree with all the sentiments and opinions therein expressed.]

Sirs,

The words of the sage, which say "Honour old age," have received my most careful attention,

But, pray, did you suppose, that the books that you chose, for this year would be passed without mention?

'Twould seem hard to deny, that in years since gone by, on the matter of high education,

In the senate to bask, was no difficult task, nor was learning a qualification.

I can see you sit there, each on plush-covered chair, and you deemed yourselves truly in clover,

And your object sublime, was to minimise time, and quickly to get the work over;

But, Sirs, did you forget, (I enquire with regret), that great haste and good work must unite ill?

And in choosing a book, did you judge by its look, or perchance by its cover or title?

Yet howe'er this may be, all who know will agree, 'twas a crime on such nightmares to start us,

As "Prometheus Unbound" (full of wisdom profound), fitting comrade to "Sartor Resartus."

May the Furies pursue, not Prometheus, but you, and to use a renowned Carlylism,

(What it means, I don't know), may you all undergo, a "Supreme Baphometic Baptism."

page 51

And each one that prates, how he's crossed o'er Cook's Straits, or on tales of wide travel enlarges,

I should like to have here, O that brave pioneer, so's to set him before Taine's "Voyages."

Not excessive, I trow, as I think you'll allow, was your knowledge of languages foreign,

And you must have been dense, when you chose, (no offence), such a "shocker" as Heine's "Memoiren."

That the Senate to-day, is more fit for the fray, is a fact which you all must agree to.

They are able and wise, and of great enterprise, fond of picnics and afternoon-tea too.

In a few hours time, neath the fair southern clime, where next year they will meet for their session,

They your sins could atone, and ease many a groan, that's brought forth by this "libral" oppression.

For you'll surely confess, that some kind of redress, is too urgent to longer neglect it,

So with kindest respects, and with deepest regrets, I remain, yours sincerely,

Dejected.