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The Spike: or, Victoria College Review, October 1902

College Notes

page 35

College Notes.

Horace Revised.

"O Spike, arisan from great and worthy students
O thon who art at once our glory and sweet honour."

For our own part, we unanimously agree with these sentiments, and rejoice that we see ourselves as others see us. The writer has seized the very spirit of the Horatian lyre—a most tuneful and cheerful lyre.

We have ourselves refrained from criticising cur critics, but we think our contributor, whose work is too uneven to give as a whole, hits the nail on the head, in commenting on the inflated and explosive verbosity which on a certain occasion took the place of argument.

"Some delight in having collected a cloud of complaints against thee, and, having grazed the turning point of eloquence with fiery words, are, in their own imagination, exalted above the Profs. as orators of the College."

If we thought this translation of Ode I. would be useful as a "crib" for examination purposes we would publish it as a whole. But we don't. We would like indeed to be in the neighbourhood when Professor Brown saw this, for instance, as somebody else's translation of the Venusian bard.

"There is another, who does not despise the Hockey field,
And spurns not to steal a slice from the working day,
Now bringing his optic in contact with another's head,
Now near the gentle keeper of some sacred goal.
Many are fond of capping songs and the mingled sound
Of tin, iron, electric bell, detested by Council and Professor."

We have no wish that our contributor should disturb the mystic courses of the stellar system, but we hope in next issue to answer the final prayer and view the complete apotheosis.

But if you give me a place amongst the " Spiky " bards
I shall strike the stars with my exalted crest."

Similarities and Differences.

The latest number of "The Otago University Review'. has several items which should appeal to us just now. The exchequer was exhausted. An appeal was made to the Government, and a subsidy of £2 for every £1 raised by public subscription (up to £750) was promised. In ten days .£750 was subscribed. Then a larger scheme was proposed for the liquidation of the debt of £16,000, and subscriptions ranging from page 36 £500 have come in so quickly that the authorities are said to be practising a new chorus, entitled, "Now we shan't be Long."

How would this do for a description of our capping efforts : —

"The song practices were scandalously attended last term, with the consequence that good songs were as nearly a failure as they could possibly be. . . It would certainly be a distinct advantage to have a captain to the crowd—to organise jokes on a large scale-anything rather than let the evening drag—yell the roof off the house or grab hold of one of the audience by the hair and make him yell."

We observe that an athletic club ha3 been formed, and that an "inter-faculty" sports meeting is to be held with a view to readiness for the Easter Tournament. What are we doing?

Science Jottings.

A correspondent from the Science Department has been so overcome with scientific method that an analysis has been made of the "specimens" which haunt the precincts of the Technical School. They are divided into groups, labelled, described and put upon the shelf, just as they ought to be. There are the "old stagers,' some of whom, as a result of a greater or less degree of persuasion help less fortunate members in the production of results," and some who' are characterised by "insulated isolation." In Group II. we 'nave the "quiet and unassuming" denizens of "dark corners"—we hope it is love of chemistry which draws them aside. Group III. is to be recognised by its size—by its irregularity—and "by a certain degree of joviality." We hope that regularity and joviality are not mutually exclusive at "the other end." If so, our correspondent assuredly belongs to Group III.

Our correspondent, who is no doubt bent on a '51 Scholarship, indulges in some "researches" which we must leave to the reader, and in the last resort to Professor Easterfield, to fathom. It is suggested that the dictionary definition of chemistry be extended by the addition of the following words: "At the end of first term is apt to be considered a delusion by young lady students who endeavour to' find excuses for discontinuing scientific study." Attention is drawn to the fact "that although. 'comparable results' may possibly be obtained by 'faking' (a scientific term unknown to the Editors), still, such a system has its disadvantages, which on consideration will doubtless be evident. The last research deals with the absence of the Professorial eve, and a proverb which seems to have something to do with Saturday mornings. It begins—"When the cat's away—."

page 37


Our scientific friend seems to find consolation in the following professorial soliloquy:—

H'm—er—er—Take this as an example of what I have just said. Suppose—er—I am very sorry—but—er—I am afraid I can't read my notes.