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The Spike: or, Victoria College Review June 1902

Capping Songs

page 45

Capping Songs.

The folowing are the three best songs sent in for the Prize offered by the Students' Society :—Vanitas Vanitatum was placed first, and Cedant Arma Togae, second. Equester suffered en account of its "over-pointedness" not a disqualification for publication in The Spike.

Vanitas Vanitatum.

Air: "The Languid Man," from "The Belle of New York."

After all, think I'll "chuck it,"
Don't you know,
Or mildly "kick the bucket,"
Don't you know.
We come to Coll. to "Swat,"
Think we know a mighty lot,
Soon find it's all forgot,
Don't you know.

Don't you know profs. keep us at it,
We work away, then kick the bucket,"
So I really don't see why we should'nt "chuck it,"
Don't you know.

Maclaurin's such a worry,
Don't you know,
A young man in a hurry,
Don't you know.
Swat's say he's clear on law,
But that's all a beastly bore,
After all it's mostly jaw,
Don't you know.

Savez-vous Monsieur Zedlitz,
Don't you know,
Knocks six languages to bits,
Don't you know.
He's great on French and slang
Euchre, German, nasal twang,
Lets the "booby-prize" "go hang,"
Don't you know.

page 46

Richmond almost makes me weep,
Don't you know.
Or he sends me off to sleep,
Don't you know.
His awful rate of speech
When tired men he tries to teach,
Would make a cornet bleach,
Don't you know.

Should you wish to tell a lie,
Don't you know,
Then by ethics justify,
Don't you know.
Just seek Mackenzie's room,
Your good motives gently boom,
And you'll find a sinless tomb,
Don't you know.

A sour apple tree's about,
Don't you know,
Where our dear old John "hangs out,"
Don't you know.
It shocks our moral sense
When he takes "Aunt Sally "thence,
And shies her o'er the fence,
Don't you know.

The great "desiderandum,"
Don't you know,
Or "thing to be desired,"
Don't you know, "Not vainly," I will show,
By the shade of Cicero,
Is to just give up the gho'
—'st Don't you know.

page 47

"Cedant Arma Togae."

I know a College in the town—in the town,
Where youths and maidens sit them down—sit them down
And learn from wisdom's very source
The things they need'nt know of course.

And every evening after dark—after dark,
The learned doctors there do spark—do spark,
And shed a gracious light around,
With voices sweet the walls resound.

Then some reluctant go to law—go to law,
Which is synonymous with bore—with bore,
And listen when they cannot sleep
To cautious words of wisdom deep.

But who is this that meets our gaze—meets our gaze,
Hedged round with transcendental rays—dental rays ?
With kindly look and portly mien,
Our largest College sage is seen.

Can this be one that hovers near—hovers near,
Who knows so much that he doth fear—he cloth fear
That sometime t'will discovered be,
So hides it in frivolity.

Another's slangy in the main—in the main,
Yet views us all with high disdain—high disdain;
Benighted savages are we,
From civilization lately he.

There's one who fills one's soul with awe—soul with awe;
Who does both Greek and Golf adore—Golf adore,
Who grapples with a rowdy floor,
By barricading girls before.

Fare thee well for we must leave thee,
Do not let this parting grieve thee
For the very dullest fool will sometimes pass;
So adieu, adieu, kind friends, adieu, adieu,
We can no longer stay with you—stay with you,
So we'll put our books on the very topmost shelf,
And go and seek for fame and wealth.

page 48

Alma Mater.

Oh, if ever you go to Victoria College,
Be sure you wait and see
A "johnnie" called Brown,
In a musty gown,
Performing heavily.
Before a class of thick-skulled students,
Looking on with a vacant stare,
As he frantically tries,
With his soul in his eyes,
To draw them a thorough-bred mare.
Oh, what a Pegasus, tral la la la la la lay,
Oh, how extremely like, you could tell it a mile away.

Oh, his name is John Pomponius Brown,
A great athlete in his time,
At the game hop-scotch,
And at marbles and tops,
His skill was really sublime.
But now he's "a scholar and gentleman,"
He's above such puerile toys,
So he goes to the ballet,And plays "Aunt Sally,"
Or a row in the paper enjoys.

And if you step into the opposite room
You'll find the Junior Mac.,
A-laying down law,
With a voice like a saw,
In a collar a trifle slack.
He's what students call a bit cocky,
But he's popular with the girls,
And to hear him slate Austin,
You'd almost get lost in
The stream of abuse he hurls.
Oh, torts aud contracts, tra la la la la la la,
See him take them all in his stride, he's such a great
man at the law.

Oh, his lectures are truly original,
He never borrows from Maine,
But you'll find in Salkowski,
Savigny and Markby,
Some passages just the same.
The only sound conclusion that this
Coincidence denotes,
Is that Holland and some of
These second-rate cribbers,
Once borrowed Maclaurin's notes.

page 49 At a later hour in the self-same room
A brawny Scot will sit,
And will fluently chatter,
In Gaelic patter,
An ode to Cynthia's feet
And "the woman like the Cohinur "
Is a joke we've heard before,
But he brings it in,
Like a new-horn thing,
Every time he take the floor.
Oh, my bonny Scotsman, a truly poetical swain,
Your humour luis "a classical touch" that is wanting
in Hood and Mark Twain.

Oh, to hear him quoting Hamlet,
If your dull mind never saw
The fire and passion,
Not to speak of the dash in
The king of poets before.
When he opes his "ponderous marble jaws"
It is very easily seen,
That Wilson Barrett,
And Irving and Garrett,
Must have got a few hints from him.

If you only can manage to stand an hour
Of English without going dotty,
There's a quiet little meeting,
Where brotherly greeting,
Will pass between Tommy and Tottie.
It's a strictly informal gathering
(And they need but one library chair),
With two for a quorum,
But three would be more'an
Enough for this amorous pair.
Oh, how romantic, but the students all say it's not fair,
For the library is the scandal shop, of the ladies who
congregate there.

But a Students' Society meeting
Is held in the very next room,
Where the Chairman's rulings,
And Quartley's foolings,
Would last till the crack of doom.
But some of them have just a little more sense,
And want to get home to "swot,"
So the Chair puts each motion,
Though we all have a notion,
That the whole "bally" business is rot.

page 50

The Song of Victoria College.

Aedem colimus Minerva
Acti desideri
Artes nosse liberals
Hoc in Hemispherio.

Oh Victoria, sempiterna
Sit tibi felicitas;
Alma mater, peramata,
Per aetates maneas.

Aedem colimus Musarum
Sub Australi sidere;
Nos a Musis maria longa
Nequeunt dividere.

Studiosi, studiosae
Captant sapientiam;
Circa venti turbulenti
Auferunt desidiam.

Omnium Collegiorum
Surgit hoc novissimum:
Ergo vires iuveniles
Exhibent fortissimum

Nomen quod profert, sodales,
Faust() sit oraculo;
Ut Deus regno reginae
Faveat curriculo.

Per vias laboriosas
Doctrinarunt omnium
Docti ducunt professors
Obsequens servitium.

Corpus sanum ne sit absens
Properamus ludere
Subter iugum occupantes
Fuste pawn trudere.

Oratores, Oratrices
Audias effundere
Voces dignas Cicerone
Et sellas pertundere.

For Diploma Day.—Only.

Luce festa concinamus
Laureatos invene;
Ad Diploma gradientes
Concinamus virgins

Universttas salveto;
Cancellarius floreat:
Ad honores largiendos
Multos annos maneat.