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The Spike: or, Victoria College Review June 1902

College Notes

page 41

College Notes.

We regret that owing to lack of space several contributions of great promise have been crowded out of this issue.

"The Spike" has no quarrel with the daily press. Both the "Times" and the "Post" did their best for the Easter Tournament. The "Post" leader of 15th March was quite a revelation in editorial sagacity. To our contemporaries—Greeting.

The Rev. W. A. Evans has been elected Chairman of the College Council. The "Spike" hopes his year of office will see the foundation stone of the College laid. Care should be taken in the appointment of a janitor.

Decius Mus describing the "academic year" to Augustus had a few trite words to say concerning the "site negotiations."'

"The College Council I would like to mention,
Has written letters calling quick attention,
To our poor homeless state—but since it had the face
To speak of quickness to your royal grace.
An answer once in six months did accrue,
To say you had it steadily in view."

In considering building materials for the College, the "Spike" would suggest that instructions be given to the architect to exclude galvanized iron. "Tin" is alright in a purse, and tin doesn't make a bad fowlhouse, but a tin College ! ! !

If we cannot get a whole first-class building straight away let Us have a half or a quarter, or only a lean-to, but let us have it solid.

The Hon. W. C. Walker, Minister of Education, was an interested spectator at the 'Varsity sports.

Professors were, perhaps, the most unexpected visitors at Christchurch at Easter. One open-eyed student would not believe that there were three Professors and two lecturers who would come 200 miles to show an interest in College life. He was not the only youth who blessed the name of Victoria College for dispersing the clouds of pessimism, which the contemplation of professorial indifference had cast over his young soul.

The interest shown in sport by Professors Brown, Easte.-field, Maclaurin, and Messrs. Joynt and Adams inspires even the "Spike" with a belief in the possibility of professorial redemption.

page 42

Professor Easterfield not only went to Christchurch, but he turned out to watch the training, and on one occasion it was the fleet-footed Professor who paced the team round the Basin. When he ran in the Oxford-Cambridge mile, Professor Easterfield kept the Cambridge flag flying, and it savoured of inspiration to follow the old war-horse round the track.

Professor Easterfield kept the flag flying in another way. He not only gave training hints, coached and judged us, but he wrote a letter to the authorities who proposed giving gold medals to the winners of championships. He pointed out that Oxford and Cambridge gave bronze medals, and suggested mildly that golden performances did not always claim golden rewards. Valuable prizes had already been the subject of discussion, and the Professor's letter put the clincher on. The summunt bonum of New Zealand University athletes is now a shabby little bit of bronze of the intrinsic value of a pair of boot laces. It would take about four of them to buy a "Spike."

The thanks of those who trained for the sports is due to the authorities of the Wellington College, who so kindly allowed them to train on the College ground. The courtesy of boys and masters made Victoria College almost forget its homeless state.

There was a pleasant little gathering on the upper deck of the "Rotomahana" just before she left Lyttelton. Professor Maclaurin, on behalf of the Victoria College Team, presented G. F. Dixon, its Secretary and Manager, with a silver-mounted walking stick as a momento of the trip he had done so much to inaugurate and make successful. Three cheers, "For he's a jolly good fellow," and the sight of the open sea concluded, the proceedings.

The presentation of medals won at Christchurch was made at the Hockey Club's Ping Pong Tournament by Professor Maclaurin. The champions, who looked very modest and unassuming, were as follows :—A. S. Henderson (half-mile), A. G. Quartley (mile walk), Mrs. C. V. Longton (ladies tennis singles), and Miss Van Staveren and Mrs. Longton (ladies tennis doubles). Mrs. Longton was unable to be present, and her medals have been forwarded to her at Dunedin.

The quarrel scene in "Julius Cæsar" not suiting the exacting taste of modern critics, especially certain literary geniuses who "faked" "Horace at Athens," the following cascus belli was set up between Brutus and Cassius :—

page 43

Cabled examination results do have a depressing effect on the academic mind about the end of February; but they must have got Horace down and trampled on him or why should the sight of Lydia affect him thus ?—

"My eyes are dazzled, and my cheeks catch tire,
As when a student watching for a wire,
Sees the young telegraphic snail,
Bringing up the magic message pass or fail;
Runs to the street and reads as best he can,
You're plucked again my dear young man,
Far, far away."

The library at Athens University—we have it on the word of Decius Mus—was "often used except for books." Times have changed, but we see something familiar in the idea :—

"For your sake Lydia, while you still were mine,
I waited in the library till after nine,
And missed a swelling discourse on Carlye's love
Delivered to the English class above.

O Tempura: O Mores.

Greece v. New Zealand.—Athletics entered more into the life of a Greek than into the life of a young New Zealander, but Grecian sport was nobler (murmur of dissent). "I mean to say that though there was no horse racing, there was no betting, that the Greeks never ran for pots, but for laurel wreathes. Not that there is any nobler form of athletics than hockey and football." (Suppressed applause).

A Good Illustration.

Professor.—" If you were in the Hutt Valley, and walking into town, you would not say you were going 'ad Wellingtonians,' unless you meant you got as far as Kaiwarra, and got stuck in the mud."

The name "Spike" was chosen in preference to "Moral Reformer," because this paper didn't set out with the object of it moral reforming," and it did set, out with an eye to "spiking." That is no reason, however, why the moral sense of the College should be shocked with impunity. The "blatant indecency" (to use the words of Beetle) of such expressions as "deuce of a funk," "chuck it," "beastly wretch" in College precincts has caused such a painful sensation, that Professor von Zedlitz is to be asked to address the Mutual Improvement Society on the subject

"Of course you can never be like us,
But be as like us as you're able to be."

page 44

Graphic border

Ancient relics of Roman civilization reproduced from sketches on various occasions by a celebrated local artist.

(1.)Eculeus or Hobby horse. N.B.—Observe the expressive eye, and the sensitive nostrils. Our sporting editor has given it as his opinion, that it is a study of the horse in the three-toed stage of evolution. He knows of no modern breed like the sketch.
(2.)An earlier attempt at the same.
(3.)Patibulum or St. Andrew's Cross on which is limned with ghastly reality a human body, arms and legs outstretched, and, as it were, hung out to dry.

We hope shortly to have in our possession original sketches of a spondee, a dactyl and a trochee by the same celebrated artist.

Suggested names for the "Spike" not accepted by the Committee :—" The Potwalloper," "The Plagiarist," The Transcendental Mendacist," "The .Bellows."