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The Spike: or, Victoria College Review June 1902

A Good Illustration

A Good Illustration.

Professor.—" If you were in the Hutt Valley, and walking into town, you would not say you were going 'ad Wellingtonians,' unless you meant you got as far as Kaiwarra, and got stuck in the mud."

The name "Spike" was chosen in preference to "Moral Reformer," because this paper didn't set out with the object of it moral reforming," and it did set, out with an eye to "spiking." That is no reason, however, why the moral sense of the College should be shocked with impunity. The "blatant indecency" (to use the words of Beetle) of such expressions as "deuce of a funk," "chuck it," "beastly wretch" in College precincts has caused such a painful sensation, that Professor von Zedlitz is to be asked to address the Mutual Improvement Society on the subject

"Of course you can never be like us,
But be as like us as you're able to be."

page 44

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Ancient relics of Roman civilization reproduced from sketches on various occasions by a celebrated local artist.

(1.)Eculeus or Hobby horse. N.B.—Observe the expressive eye, and the sensitive nostrils. Our sporting editor has given it as his opinion, that it is a study of the horse in the three-toed stage of evolution. He knows of no modern breed like the sketch.
(2.)An earlier attempt at the same.
(3.)Patibulum or St. Andrew's Cross on which is limned with ghastly reality a human body, arms and legs outstretched, and, as it were, hung out to dry.

We hope shortly to have in our possession original sketches of a spondee, a dactyl and a trochee by the same celebrated artist.

Suggested names for the "Spike" not accepted by the Committee :—" The Potwalloper," "The Plagiarist," The Transcendental Mendacist," "The .Bellows."