The Pamphlet Collection of Sir Robert Stout: Volume 82
Fun for Young Secularists
Fun for Young Secularists.
A clergyman in the North of England was one day making his usual visit to his parishoners. At one of the houses he found no one at home but a lad of about twelve years of age. Ho sat down and commenced talking to him and found to his horror that the lad had never heard of "God." "My lad," said he, "God is everywhere," "Is he in this room? " asked the lad. "Yes, he is, but you cannot see him." "Is he in a dark place like our coal-hole? " asked the lad. "Yes," answered the clergyman, "for he is everywhere." "That's a lie," said the lad, "for we haven't got any coal-hole.'
A boy was asked which was the greatest evil, hurting another's feelings or his finger. "The feelings," he said, "Right, my dear child," said the questioner, "and why is it worse to hurt the feelings?" "Because you can't tie a rag around them," exclaimed the child.
Dod Grile says that those who are horrified at Mr Darwin's theory may comfort themselves with the assurance that, if they are descended from the ape, they have not descended so far as to preclude all hope of return.
There is an ancient fable about a certain man named Samson, who pulled down an immense building with no assistance from tools or men, but merely by the enormous strength of his arms. Of course, the story is not a true one, because no one has such strength as that; but still some people believe it. Others laugh at its absurdity; and one of them jokingly says that "Samson was the first and greatest of actors. He only gave one performance, but he brought down the house."
There are a great many business firms who publish books for Sunday School children to read, And in order to make these children as superstitious as possible, so that they shall be afraid to leave their Sunday Schools, they get people to write a lot of false stories to frighten them. These stories nearly all tell about boys and girls who amuse themselves on Sundays getting into trouble for doing so, and other stories of that kind. Now, Mark Twain, a clever humorous writer, wrote the following satire or "take-off," on the untruthful Sunday School books; it is called :—