A winter Idle.

"A week's a week for a' that" (Robbie Burns revised). It although we had but a week's holiday, we meant to make the most page 99 it. All the party felt a change of air would be beneficial, especially as two who had been taking the Surgery Class said they showed undoubted symptoms of tuberculosis, whilst two from the Medicine Class wore equally sure they had heart disease.

Puketeraki was the health resort selected. "A good house, a jolly good week's loaf, and plenty of tucker," as the Cook said, "and w'ere will be the microbes ?"

Pour of us managed to rise early enough to catch the 7.10 a.m. train. Each had a roll of blankets and a gun, and looked as disreputable as possible; one tie amongst the party alone prevented a suspicious policeman from running us in as vagrants.

Having arrived at Puketeraki we proceeded to make ourselves at home in a very comfortable house. We enjoyed a good square meal, topping off (a very large top) with cake, for which the tourist showed a devotion equalled only by that of a monkey for nuts. "Sunshine," said the Loafer, quoting his Surgery, "is invaluable for consumption; let us therefore sit in the sun and smoke." We did; and felt at peace with all the world, except the shags in the river, on whom we kept a desultory but harmless fire.

The Linguist (so named from his knowledge of the classics) then went to meet the late comers at the station, whilst the rest went to procure a boat from a voluble one-eyed fisherman. Polyphemus proved gracious and gave us a boat tor the week.

That evening a very gay party assembled around a roasting fire, indulging alternately in pipe and song. The Loafer produced his accordeon, an instrument detestable in civilization, but welcome out of it. The Linguist rivalled him by fossicking out a small musical box which would play with tearful solemnity "Ta ra ra;" then, shaking off its melancholy, it would burst into the cheering strains of "Katey Connor;" the latter was entirely encore, whilst the former was "by special request."

The Cook caused some excitement by jumping a bunk previously reserved. In spite of cries of "Peace, let us arbitrate," the Cook came out on his head, appealing to the Conciliation Board for justice. A Daniel came to judgment in the form of the Tourist, who seized the accordeon and said the bunk should belong to the one who guessed the tune correctly. The Cook having a keen ear for music lost the bunk.

It snowed all that night and the next day (Sunday), so we stayed indoors and had to be satisfied with some hymns on the accordeon. The musical box was ruled out of order owing to the secular nature of its music.

Monday was cold and bright, and the three more energetic members ventured out to catch fish for a feed. The swell, however, turned the tables in favour of the fish, and the party sot out for home, only to be half swamped by a roller on the bar. They returned with page 100 the usual fisherman's luck, their ardour damped and their [unclear: clothe] soaked.

The next day we had a visitor to lunch, and the two cooks for [unclear: th] day prepared what they called "a dashed good feed." It consisted [unclear: of] soup, stew, joint, and vegetables—all in one pot—and would have [unclear: been] excellent had it not been for the surplus water, raw meat, and [unclear: under] done onions in it. The concocter of this dish was [unclear: henceforward] dubbed "The Cook." Rifle in hand, he awaited our criticism of it [unclear: wit] a peaceful self-satisfied smile. He also brought to light, a cake [unclear: which] was finally cut up for sinkers.

The next day was set aside for a visit to the Temple of [unclear: Delusion] Seacliff, and early breakfast was ordered, i.e., the Director ordered [unclear: it]. It was his custom every morning to lie in his bunk shouting out directions to the toilers in the kitchen. For instance, "Mind you fill [unclear: that] boiler; " "Put plenty of salt in the porridge;" "Don't leave the [unclear: tap] running," etc. In this he was joined by the Cook, who sang the [unclear: first] line of "I fear no foe in shining armour," till silenced by a plate [unclear: of] burgoo.

The Director had great ideas about skating, and was always [unclear: trying] the ice on every pool. On the way to Seacliff he struck a beauty, [unclear: an] stood proudly in the middle till the ice let him suddenly through. [unclear: This] was especially discomforting for him, considering that he was [unclear: faultless] attired in his best country togs in order to fascinate the female [unclear: hear] at Seacliff. The Linguist too had a high collar for the occasion, [unclear: bu] accurate snowballing soon took the starch out of it, utterly ruining [unclear: it] fascinating powers.

A pleasant time was spent at Seacliff, and we got a warm invitation to a concert and dance on the Friday. The Cook showed considerable pluck by snowballing a dangerous lunatic from the top of the tower.

We got home late, but in plenty of time for supper. Unfortunately a rather large and heavy cake was set before us, and one slice was [unclear: quiet] enough to keep down the buoyant spirits of the party. The Cook [unclear: in-]judiciously tackled a second slice, but paid the penalty with [unclear: nightman]. That cake was no ordinary sort of cake; you might have hit it in [unclear: the] epigastrium with a hammer and it wouldn't have turned a [unclear: crumb] whilst it would have sunk in mercury. A nice light iced cake was produced instead and highly relished, but we only got one chance at it [unclear: a] the Cook and his assistant got up and finished it before breakfast [unclear: ne] morning.

We had a pleasant morning's fishing next day—that is, all [unclear: except] the Tourist, who never got a bite; the fish probably heard what he [unclear: kep] saying about them and shunned him consistently.

page 101

That evening we sustained a visit from two fellow-students who stayed the night. We had a musical evening, the accordeon and musical box being tested to the utmost.

Next day we packed our swags and struck out for Seacliff, where we arrived after a healthy tramp against rain and snow. After a good drying we sot about practising some songs for the concert in the evening; our choir was considerably strengthened by the sudden arrival of Mr Sourface from town.

The dance began at 7.30 p.m.; nurses, warders, and patients all took part in it. Unshaven and wild, we were bashful about joining in, but Sourface reassured us by saying we would only be mistaken for inmates and not students. At 8.30 we led off the concert with "Otago Fair," "Twin Duet," "Old Age Pensions," "Celebrities," and "Slap Dab." We pleased the lunatics and felt satisfied.

Supper followed, and then more dancing. By 11 p.m. all felt at home and danced with a will. We finished up about midnight, and after a smoke went to downy. We were furnished with shakedowns in the large hall; most of the party turned in quietly, but Sourface had a nice tightly-stuffed cylindrical mattress which had evidently been filled by an absent-minded lunatic. Sourface balanced himself on top of this and tried to sleep, but the thing turned turtle on the least provocation. S. soon got "full up;" as he said, "Might as well try to sleep on a greasy pole." Getting no sympathy, he thoughtfully pulled our bunk to pieces, and then played the piano over the ruins, like Nero over burning Rome. After going through three square dances in the middle of the hall by himself, and a season of voice production, S. sneaked in between two of us and gave us rest about 4 a.m.

A jocular warder roused us at 6 a.m. to come out and see the cows milked This dose was repeated every few minutes by different warders, till S. growled and said he wished all the cows had remained in calf-hood, and then he might get some sleep. However, we had no further sleep, and got up to breakfast at 7.30 a.m. After many farewells, we set out for the train, and sought the seclusion of a railway carriage. A more disreputable looking crowd was seldom seen on the Polichet Bay station, and we sneaked home.