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The Pamphlet Collection of Sir Robert Stout: Volume 38

The Audiphone for Women

The Audiphone for Women.

In using the Audiphone it has occurred to us that no invention could have been more fortunate, especially for a pretty woman afflicted with deafness.

She can not pleasantly use the snake auricular, because it frequently places her head in an ungraceful position, and if she happens to have large or ugly ears, it invites too much attention to that glaring defect.

It is well known that Pauline, the beautiful sister of Napoleon, had very large ears, and, at one time, a rude English lady almost drove the beautiful Pauline from the ball-room by exclaiming quite aloud: "Oh, what a monstrous ear!" This invited general attention to Pauline's large ears, and it annoyed her beyond measure.

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If a woman has a sea-shell of an ear she can use the Smith auricular with some satisfaction. Yet it is generally disagreeable for her to use it at all. A woman with a natural desire to conceal her infirmities does not wish people to know that she is at all deaf, as that implies some deterioration of her charms.

Now, the Audiphone invented by Mr. Rhodes, of Chicago genius, does away with all this misery and trouble. The woman can jauntily place the edges of the Audiphone upon her front teeth, and, if these teeth be white and fair, and her lips rosy and luscious, the Audiphone unconsciously invites special attention to her charms in that regard.

If she has beautiful eyes she can flash them upon the person with whom she is speaking, with much better effect with the Audiphone upon her teeth, than if she had to bend her head in using the ordinary auricular.

So, we think that Mr. Rhodes has been fortunate in introducing an invention for the bright and handsome woman of our grand land, who may, in some degree, be afflicted with an infirmity of hearing, and then, so far from depreciating her charms by the effort to hear, she will appear even more interesting, for thousands of our fairest women keep a fan in their hand for the purpose of adroitly inviting observation to their beautiful teeth, the fashion being to put one edge of the fan in the corner of the mouth, thus showing also the glowing radiance of their lips.

Now, in this nineteenth century, when so many efforts are made by the fair sex to beautify their forms and their faces, is it not most fortunate that a discovery has been made which takes away the edge of an infirmity and renders it possible that even a maiden who is touched with an infirmity of hearing may become a belle?