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The Pamphlet Collection of Sir Robert Stout: Volume 14

Disgusted

Disgusted.

GA. Sala in his "America Revisited," relates a good story. A gentleman from the Eastern States, whom he met in the train across the continent, held forth upon the difference between reality and guide-books:—"There ain't no bottling up of things about me. The overland journey's a fraud, and oughter know it. Don't tell me its not a fraud. This ring must be busted up. Where are your buffalers? Perhaps you'll tell me that them cows is buffalers. They ain't. Where are your prairie dogs? They ain't dogs to begin with, they're squirrels. Ain't you ashamed to call the mean little cusses dogs? But where are they? They're ain't none. Where are your grizzlies? You might have imported a few grizzlies to keep up the name of your railroad. Where are your herds of antelopes scudding before the advancing train? Nary an antelope have you got for to scud. Rocky Mountains, sir? They ain't rocky at all—they're as flat as my hand. Where are your savage gorges? I can't see none. Where are your wild Injuns! Do you call them loafing tramps in dirty blankets wild Injuns? My belief is that they're greasers looking out for an engagement as song and dance men. They're 'dead beats', sir, dead beats'; their 'pudcocks,' and you ought to be told so.

"And he kicked you into the street—weren't you mad? "I did feel considerably put out"